tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post5051473616996968278..comments2023-10-20T01:45:56.058-07:00Comments on Something Brilliant is Brewing: Update on my journeyLesliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12401609334253676307noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-14271736715998996082011-07-09T07:23:22.769-07:002011-07-09T07:23:22.769-07:00I'm late in responding to this post, Leslie, b...I'm late in responding to this post, Leslie, because I was out of town. But it strikes so close to home that I want to say a few words.<br /><br />I have found that the danger of joining a rigid 12-step program is that it just doesn't fit many of us. And because of that, we keep trying to make it fit and just get deeper into our old behaviors and feelings. Also, the shame that we naturally feel as overweight persons becomes greater than it was before. I believe that my entrance into such a 12-step program ultimately set me back and made my problem worse. (I'm just speakiing for myself.) I began trying to make myself into someone that I'm not. I still struggle with it, and I wish I'd never entered into that particular fellowship. <br /><br />You talk about AA and your success there--well, recovering from an alcohol or drug addiction is completely different than recovering from a food addiction. We have to eat, and the rules of some of these programs are pretty "way out there." I believe that my "all or nothing mentality" gained strength while in that program. <br /><br />Before entering the 12-step prgram, I had lost 45 pounds on my own. I had been doing well for about 3 years. But I wanted to lose more, and I seemed to be stalled, so I joined up. Big mistake. I have gained 40 of those pounds back, while tryimg to work the 12-step program many times, and I lost my sense that I was OK, and instead began to feel very broken.<br /><br />I am now doing this on my own. Yes, my food plan is laid out for me, but that doesn't mean I can't make reasonable changes when I need to--changes that don't result in shaming and to some degree ostracism from the group. I hope this response does not discourage you. I didn't mean for it to have that effect. ...just my experience.E. Janehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04079110676794095541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-34778169498173777442011-07-04T14:31:05.649-07:002011-07-04T14:31:05.649-07:00I just found your blog today, and have been going ...I just found your blog today, and have been going to OA for about 3 months now. I don't like (or follow) their ideas about rigid adherence to a food plan. To me, it seems like that's replacing one obsession for another. However, I do find the aspect of turning the food over to God very helpful. I am glad you're aware of what will and won't work for you about the program. I think that trying to follow aspects of a program you're not into is a surefire road to disaster. Good for you for not doing that!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00149397754795871378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-11587105077484543272011-07-04T10:02:59.875-07:002011-07-04T10:02:59.875-07:00I totally get the "not desperate enough"...I totally get the "not desperate enough" mindset. I was there for awhile... the 180's is not such a horrible place to be! But over time it got uncomfortable and I was finally ready to move forward and got "desperate enough" aka motivated enough to do more. It takes time to get to that point. Just try and maintain until you are ready to do more to lose.Lynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06926887495148083672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-60108819511239573652011-07-03T17:41:49.525-07:002011-07-03T17:41:49.525-07:00I'm here for you if I can help in any way. I ...I'm here for you if I can help in any way. I know you can do it. You can!Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15086719828916510651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-76498034858060292062011-07-03T12:34:29.187-07:002011-07-03T12:34:29.187-07:00Yeah, I get what you're saying. I think I can...Yeah, I get what you're saying. I think I can be accountable to myself. I know I can. I have been in the past, and using my 12 step principles, I really just have to do it one day at a time. I see that if I can't do it consistently, it really is a different path. And therein is motivation to be accountable to myself.Lesliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12401609334253676307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-71344024048532880632011-07-03T12:26:06.932-07:002011-07-03T12:26:06.932-07:00You still didn't actually answer my question.
...You still didn't actually answer my question.<br /><br />Can you plan, by yourself, and then be accountable, to yourself? Can you do that? <br /><br />Because the answer to that, in my opinion, is the answer that matters. that is the answer that gets you off the fence, if you want to be off the fence.<br /><br />if you can't be accountable to yourself - you take one path. If you can be accountable to yourself - it is another path.Vickiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05452333714845476967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-84453647326381297572011-07-03T11:42:58.798-07:002011-07-03T11:42:58.798-07:00Hi Vickie - It's interesting that you used the...Hi Vickie - It's interesting that you used the term "on the fence", because when I first dabbled with quitting drinking, my sponsor (still my sponsor today, btw) noted that I was "on the fence" about being an alcoholic. And I was. I knew I had a drinking problem and that my life was sort of a mess, but I didn't want to accept being alcoholic. That changed as I continued to go to AA.<br /><br />With food, I know without a doubt that I'm an addict. I accept that, but I either can't or won't accept that I have to attend OA meetings in order to find recovery. I've tried food recovery 12 step programs many times and simply don't feel at home there. I don't feel the acceptance and positivity I've always felt in AA. I'm not on the fence about that at all. Perhaps I want my cake and to eat it too. Perhaps there's an element of denial I possess about this. <br /><br />When I've attended OA of FAA and followed the program to the letter and got good results regarding weight loss, I also knew from the first day in that I wouldn't want to adhere so strictly to a food plan forever. I could keep it "a day at a time", but never desired to stay on that kind of a program over the long haul because it felt restrictive and punitive in the big picture. Other than the physical effects of rapid weight loss, I didn't want what the OA gurus had from a personality/acceptance/flexibility standpoint. And that still hasn't changed from my recent attendance at a few meetings and conversations with members, other than the one gal who actually did sound fairly flexible and "real".<br /><br />I really appreciate you calling me on my stuff here, Vickie. You make me think honestly about myself and my attitudes.Lesliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12401609334253676307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-35062397788771188982011-07-03T10:10:43.218-07:002011-07-03T10:10:43.218-07:00as I read, I thought:
you are (totally) on the fe...as I read, I thought: <br />you are (totally) on the fence<br /><br />it reads as if your desire to change exactly equals your desire to stay the same.<br /><br />and you pretty much said the same thing.<br /><br />I read someone else's blog, earlier in the week, talking about joining WW in 2 weeks. (She is also on the fence, in my opinion). <br /><br />I totally understand you are a 'turning it over'/program person when it comes to AA. <br /><br />but what you are also saying is that when it comes to food, you don't want to turn it over, you don't want to be a food stepper. <br /><br />Leslie, is there a reason, you can't simply plan your food (exercise, sleep, water) out for the day, by yourself, write it down and then just do it?Vickiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05452333714845476967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-89555199623533279062011-07-03T09:00:05.143-07:002011-07-03T09:00:05.143-07:00Wow, measuring food in a restaurant?? I've nev...Wow, measuring food in a restaurant?? I've never heard/seen anything like it. While I am sure that woman's intentions were there, I couldn't be that strict.<br /><br />Happy Empty Nester weekend! We will be empty nesters for the week - Hannah leaves for vacation tomorrow - have a great 4th!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-55077932952696292882011-07-02T16:09:53.466-07:002011-07-02T16:09:53.466-07:00I get this 100% and feel the same way in many ways...I get this 100% and feel the same way in many ways about following a rigid program. I think if it were a drug or alcholol it would be very black and white. With food it seems to be a whole different ballgame. I also question my lack of willingness to follow the must haves and the shoulds. But for me there has to be a purposeful awareness and a peace and balance. And health. And what is it about that I'm using food or avoiding a healthy balance life. I support your finding your own way.PJ Geekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16550278783075004470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-57683202888755785542011-07-02T10:30:27.158-07:002011-07-02T10:30:27.158-07:00I am glad you are exploring the options for suppor...I am glad you are exploring the options for support that are out there and finding what works for you. Best of luck and have a great holiday weekend.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-18772214688647676932011-07-01T19:22:10.542-07:002011-07-01T19:22:10.542-07:00I have a friend who is doing FA and has been very ...I have a friend who is doing FA and has been very successful since January with it. But. She has a pretty lenient sponsor. And in the past, she did the program with a rigid sponsor and the results were not pretty. She keeps inviting me to their weekly meetings, but I fear that kind of focus on food would lead me back to my unhealthy (read anorexic) habits of long ago. I admire you for knowing what will work for you, and I know that you will hit on the right combo one of these day.<br /><br />Have a great weekend!Shelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09268130692900152965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-75003620709987237572011-07-01T17:02:24.156-07:002011-07-01T17:02:24.156-07:00I think finding what works for you is the best pat...I think finding what works for you is the best path.<br /><br /> I couldn't live my life in such a rigid way but if it works for her that's awesome.Tami@NutmegNotebookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03734911958992997465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9172726268459163555.post-76120887474406891062011-07-01T16:10:04.681-07:002011-07-01T16:10:04.681-07:00I think you are very self-aware and for most peopl...I think you are very self-aware and for most people, that's the hardest step in any journey to self-improvement.Enzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14960677775063373213noreply@blogger.com