One lousy bite

I had a good day yesterday that was 100% binge-free.  There was absolutely no overeating involved either.  I got a 3 mile walk in with a friend as well.  All in all, a hell of a lot better day than many I've had of late.  I think finally starting to write in the blog in more detail about my food addiction was therapeutic.  I felt somehow lighter - cleansed if you will, in the way that a gut wrenching therapy session can be so cathartic.

It's always good to have a "good" day, but it felt like even more of an accomplishment as we went out to dinner as it was my daughter's last night home before she goes back to the Dominican Republic today.  We did a lot of good healthy cooking while she was here, so eating out freed us up from planning, shopping, preparing, and CLEANING UP.  Also, my husband belongs to a golf club that requires a certain amount of $ to be spent in their dining facility, and if you don't use it that way, you pay anyway.  So we killed several birds with one stone last night...and I behaved and made excellent choices.  Yay Me!

First - I did not have even a molecule of their good hot bread, which I always us as a vehicle upon which to get too much yummy butter into my mouth.  Ahh butter - one of life's pleasures, right up there with bacon!  Good choice #1.  Second, I ordered a wonderful salad that had slivered green apples, chopped roasted pecans, tons of spring mix greens, and crumbled bleu cheese with an orange vinaigrette dressing.  I never use more than a tsp. of dressing, which makes it one of the few potential land mines I don't have to worry about.

Good choice #3 - I didn't see a whole lot on the menu that I was interested in, so I asked if they had salmon that could just be baked...and they did!  It was excellent, served over fresh spinach and lightly coated on top with pesto.  A large ice-cream scoop plop of white rice came on the side, which I gave to my son.  I'm not a huge rice person, and white rice is totally expendable in my book.  I cut my salmon portion in half to bring home for my lunch salad today, and wouldn't you know I left it at the restaurant :-(.  No big deal, but I was disappointed with my forgetful self.

Good choice #4 - No dessert.  This place has some great desserts - they bring out a tray with an array of available desserts, and last night out of 5 selections, 4 had booze in them in one way or another.  It was easy to say no.  Hubby and son brought their blackberry bottomed cheese cake home to eat while watching the Phillies get their asses kicked out of St. Louis.

The one thing I did have that I said I'm going to omit was a regular size water ice at Rita's.  Jean and I decided she needed one final Rita's visit before leaving the USA.  I had key lime ice, and that was it.  Water ice does not ever set off craving for more sugar - not sure why, but it's always been safe for me.  Still, it's my intention to omit all sugar.  That was the only sugar I had yesterday, and it was just right and just enough.

Sounds like a honeymoom phase, yes?  We'll see.  One day at a time.  I feel strong and food thought free so far today - but we all know that a food obsession can literally emerge from nowhere and insistently begin gnawing at one's resolve and determination.  I have plenty of resources and tools to resist, if I choose to use them.  My tool du jour that I've been reflecting on is:
"Remember you only have to abstain from the first compulsive bite.  One bite only."  Without the first compulsive, unplanned, risky bite, it's much less likely that a really strong hard craving will set in that is hell to try and resist.  I don't have to resist and leave out a whole sleeve of cookies or a quart of icecream...I only have to not have the first bite.  This advice is the equivalent of not setting foot in an arena with a lion on the loose.  I won't have to fight him (it) off if I don't enter the ring. 

And really, after the first bite, the rest never tastes like much.  It becomes just a stuffing of food with the resultant stuffing and numbing of feelings and thoughts.  Once that first bite is on board, for this addict, I've already lost. 

That's it from me today.  I hope to keep it clean, healthy and real so I can come back tomorrow and report it.  Have a great w/e everyone.