Sunday, June 16, 2013

Revisiting an old stomping ground

We got home late Saturday night after our trip to the DR.  It was a wonderful trip - plenty of rest, sleep, healthy eating, reading, swimming, shopping, wonderful conversation and general with our daughter and her sweetheart of a soon to be fiancĂ© Cesar, and general hanging out.  We were tired and hungry after our long day of travel, and I will confess right here that at Atlanta airport last night (we had a relatively brief layover after all the rigamarole of Customs) Tom and I went to a McDonalds right next to our gate and ended up each getting a Big Mac meal for dinner!  I can honestly say I haven't eaten at a McDs in possibly 8 years or longer (and I hope that I don't again for that long), but it tasted great!   I know it was a calorie and carb orgy, but I enjoyed every bite and didn't feel one bit guilty.

This morning, I got on the scale to survey what "baggage" I brought home or left behind, and I'm tickled pink to report that my weight was 197!  That was a loss of 3.8lbs.  I was delighted, though not entirely surprised.  We ate wonderful food, much of which was fixed by our daughter and Cesar, but we really only had 2 meals most day, plus snacks here and there.  It was all healthy, freshly prepared either at home or at restaurants, and my blood sugar stayed steady and finally dipped to the high 80s for the last 3 days of our trip.  Plus, we walked miles most days and sweat buckets all days.

I think this is the first time I ever came home from vacation weighing less than when I left!  Today I've reflected a lot about this weight saga I've been writing for myself for so many years.  The loss this time around (22 pounds so far) has been slow, and I see that it's good for me that way.  Going more slowly and focusing on blood sugar rather that purely weight allows me to get comfortable at a lower weight, without somehow triggering old issues that invariably have sent me back up into the Everest region of poundage.  I don't have to see 200+ again, and I hope I don't.  All won't be lost, but I'd rather not have to go on that head trip ever again.  Time will tell, but for now I'm feeling good, and grateful!  And definitely lighter!!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Am swimming again...

My URL is  I picked that back in 2009 because I'd spent many years not swimming because of my body and how I felt about it.  Mind you, I grew up swimming and have always loved to be in water, sluicing, skimming and slithering like an otter.  But I spent way too many years denying myself of this visceral pleasure for reasons of pride, ego, shame, self-hatred and disgust...the usual fat girl's menu of excuses and procrastination for not living life fully.  Poor fat moi.

I've written about all this so many times in 4 years.  I've had 2 separate re-entries into water arenas-one 3 1/2 years ago when we visited our then Peace Corps volunteer daughter in the Dominican Republic (actually I bought a bathing suit and wore it under clothes and never actually went in the water so it doesn't really count =| !); and the second about 2 years ago when I swam laps at my gym about 10 times before slithering back under my fat girl rock.

But.  BUT!  We are currently back in the DR, again visiting our daughter and her soon to be fiancĂ©, and I have put on a bathing suit and swam twice.  Once at a pool and jacuzzi at a beautiful beach condo community, and once at a public beach.  Upon donning said swimsuit, I even looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "I look fine."  Of course I am planning to continue the slow descent down the scale and look forward to looking better with time, but I am where, who, and what I am-and part of that includes loving being in the water.  I feel like I've finally given myself a pass for being an imperfect work in progress.  

Our visit has been great.  I continue to check my blood sugar most days, and it's ranging from 103-118.  Not as good ad when I'm home, but not too bad for vacation.  

Things are good.  No idea where my weight is now-the lowest I saw before we left was 200.8.  I'm still waited with bated breath to break into Onederland, but I'm confident it will happen soon.  And when it does, as previously promised, my blog friends will be among the first to know!  Adios for now ;-).