Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Am swimming again...

My URL is willswimagain.blogspot.com.  I picked that back in 2009 because I'd spent many years not swimming because of my body and how I felt about it.  Mind you, I grew up swimming and have always loved to be in water, sluicing, skimming and slithering like an otter.  But I spent way too many years denying myself of this visceral pleasure for reasons of pride, ego, shame, self-hatred and disgust...the usual fat girl's menu of excuses and procrastination for not living life fully.  Poor fat moi.

I've written about all this so many times in 4 years.  I've had 2 separate re-entries into water arenas-one 3 1/2 years ago when we visited our then Peace Corps volunteer daughter in the Dominican Republic (actually I bought a bathing suit and wore it under clothes and never actually went in the water so it doesn't really count =| !); and the second about 2 years ago when I swam laps at my gym about 10 times before slithering back under my fat girl rock.

But.  BUT!  We are currently back in the DR, again visiting our daughter and her soon to be fiancé, and I have put on a bathing suit and swam twice.  Once at a pool and jacuzzi at a beautiful beach condo community, and once at a public beach.  Upon donning said swimsuit, I even looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "I look fine."  Of course I am planning to continue the slow descent down the scale and look forward to looking better with time, but I am where, who, and what I am-and part of that includes loving being in the water.  I feel like I've finally given myself a pass for being an imperfect work in progress.  

Our visit has been great.  I continue to check my blood sugar most days, and it's ranging from 103-118.  Not as good ad when I'm home, but not too bad for vacation.  

Things are good.  No idea where my weight is now-the lowest I saw before we left was 200.8.  I'm still waited with bated breath to break into Onederland, but I'm confident it will happen soon.  And when it does, as previously promised, my blog friends will be among the first to know!  Adios for now ;-).


  1. Enjoy your visit with your daughter! Great job getting in the water. Hope you can report on permanent residence in ONEDERLAND soon :)

  2. So good to hear from you Leslie! I hear you on the swimming thing. I went over 20 years without getting in the water. Now, with the arthritis, swimming is becoming my favorite form of exercise. I think I told you I bought one of those unitards (because I am self-conscious about my legs.) The rest I kind of go with a suspension of belief LOL. I just tell myself I look fine. And I do. There is a mix of high school kids and senior citizens at our pool. Try not to go back under your 'fat girl rock.' I know the temptation.

  3. When I saw your post title pop up on Jane's side bar, I smiled. I did remember your URL. Very glad you are having a good time.

  4. Yay for swimming! I am always a fan of that! The water is soooooo great and I love that you're loving it. Happy swimming Leslie!

  5. Swimming is a MAJOR NSV - what a wonderful feeling! Good for you Leslie, on this and on the blood glucose too.
    Enjoy your family time and look forward to the 'ones' any day now.
    Hugs, Deniz


  6. GREAT news Leslie!! So self empowered to get that suit on and jump in!! At some point ya gotta love yourself and not give a f**k what Anyone else thinks. At 50 it's way past time girlfriend. Now what else is on your list to do? :)

  7. I loved this post! So glad you are swimming. As a young person, I also loved to swim, and I did it whenever I had the opportunity. But being overweight has killed my desire to get in a pool. I hope that will change in the next few months.

    Your blood sugar numbers are good for your situation, and you have been an inspiration to me. You will hit Onederland in the near future--I just know it!

  8. Anonymous16 June, 2013

    Hooray for swimming! I am actually learning to love it as an adult, as I never learned to swim and hung out at the shallow end.

    And those blood sugar numbers are amazeballs - you should be proud of how well you are controlling it!