Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Am swimming again...
My URL is willswimagain.blogspot.com. I picked that back in 2009 because I'd spent many years not swimming because of my body and how I felt about it. Mind you, I grew up swimming and have always loved to be in water, sluicing, skimming and slithering like an otter. But I spent way too many years denying myself of this visceral pleasure for reasons of pride, ego, shame, self-hatred and disgust...the usual fat girl's menu of excuses and procrastination for not living life fully. Poor fat moi.
I've written about all this so many times in 4 years. I've had 2 separate re-entries into water arenas-one 3 1/2 years ago when we visited our then Peace Corps volunteer daughter in the Dominican Republic (actually I bought a bathing suit and wore it under clothes and never actually went in the water so it doesn't really count =| !); and the second about 2 years ago when I swam laps at my gym about 10 times before slithering back under my fat girl rock.
But. BUT! We are currently back in the DR, again visiting our daughter and her soon to be fiancé, and I have put on a bathing suit and swam twice. Once at a pool and jacuzzi at a beautiful beach condo community, and once at a public beach. Upon donning said swimsuit, I even looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "I look fine." Of course I am planning to continue the slow descent down the scale and look forward to looking better with time, but I am where, who, and what I am-and part of that includes loving being in the water. I feel like I've finally given myself a pass for being an imperfect work in progress.
Our visit has been great. I continue to check my blood sugar most days, and it's ranging from 103-118. Not as good ad when I'm home, but not too bad for vacation.
Things are good. No idea where my weight is now-the lowest I saw before we left was 200.8. I'm still waited with bated breath to break into Onederland, but I'm confident it will happen soon. And when it does, as previously promised, my blog friends will be among the first to know! Adios for now ;-).