First - I stayed exactly on plan yesterday. 3 meals comprised of the categories I wrote out. I did have one diet coke, and gobs of water. Also got in a long walk. I was up about 6 times in the night (not kidding!) to pee - so I expect at least a drop or two of that awful weight yesterday (no pun...) was water. But no excuses - weight is weight. Bingeing is bingeing, whether I call non-stop eating throughout the day grazing or anything else. Yesterday by the time lunch rolled around, I was empty stomach hungry. Same with dinner. A familiar old feeling I haven't experienced in a long time.
I am going to start doing a 4th step about food and eating. I'll talk more about that process in another post - but it's one of the 12 steps that is really important in terms of facing the truth about oneself and trying to gain perspective and understanding about the nature of our struggles and disconnects. I did one years ago as part of AA recovery, but food is the behemoth now, and if I want to find recovery from overeating, it's clear I need to use tools that helped me find recovery, and peace, from food related issues.
I'm on track today so far. I intend to see this day through as cleanly as I was able to get through yesterday. The horror of the scale seemed to stave off any food thoughts or cravings, but I know all too well how quickly that can pass, and it gets harder to sit through food desires.
I'm going to close with a few pics from my front yard garden that has been gloriously in bloom this last couple of weeks. I plan to touch base in the blog each day to report my previous day's success, or lack thereof. Hopefully I can continue the rigorous honesty that it took to admit my weight yesterday. Have a good weekend, all, and Happy Mothers' Day!!!
And my first grandchild:
Here's to another successful day, Leslie! Good job.
ReplyDeleteLove the flower pictures - just gorgeous. Of course, I'm partial to the last shot...such a sweet pup!
Good job on 24 hours! One day at time.
ReplyDeleteYou mention doing a 4th step around food. Have you done the first 3 steps around food? The reason I ask was your last post said " Can I do this alone? I want to think I can, but that may be denial. I think it is." If you are doing this alone I think you left your HP out of the equation and for a food addict to find recovery I don't think it is a go it alone proposition. I think following a food plan to the letter is just a diet. Also there are bloggers all about you to support you and even then it is just a diet with support. If you want the problem to be solved you have to work a program of recovery. I also think of following the food plan and getting out of the sugar as step 0 just like it says in the dr opinion xxvi "Though we work out our solution on the spiritual as well as aqn altruistic plane, we favor hospitalization for the alcoholic who is very jittery or befogged. More often then not, it is imperative that a man's brain be cleared before he is approached, as he has then a better chance of understanding and accepting what we have to offer."
So glad you had a good day. Love the photos--they're so beautiful. I also really like the sweet little pup. BTW, I'm still mulling over the 12-step post you wrote. It really was thought provoking for me. Have a great Mother's Day!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on a great day! I know it feels really good to be back to where you know your in charge.
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