First - I stayed exactly on plan yesterday. 3 meals comprised of the categories I wrote out. I did have one diet coke, and gobs of water. Also got in a long walk. I was up about 6 times in the night (not kidding!) to pee - so I expect at least a drop or two of that awful weight yesterday (no pun...) was water. But no excuses - weight is weight. Bingeing is bingeing, whether I call non-stop eating throughout the day grazing or anything else. Yesterday by the time lunch rolled around, I was empty stomach hungry. Same with dinner. A familiar old feeling I haven't experienced in a long time.
I am going to start doing a 4th step about food and eating. I'll talk more about that process in another post - but it's one of the 12 steps that is really important in terms of facing the truth about oneself and trying to gain perspective and understanding about the nature of our struggles and disconnects. I did one years ago as part of AA recovery, but food is the behemoth now, and if I want to find recovery from overeating, it's clear I need to use tools that helped me find recovery, and peace, from food related issues.
I'm on track today so far. I intend to see this day through as cleanly as I was able to get through yesterday. The horror of the scale seemed to stave off any food thoughts or cravings, but I know all too well how quickly that can pass, and it gets harder to sit through food desires.
I'm going to close with a few pics from my front yard garden that has been gloriously in bloom this last couple of weeks. I plan to touch base in the blog each day to report my previous day's success, or lack thereof. Hopefully I can continue the rigorous honesty that it took to admit my weight yesterday. Have a good weekend, all, and Happy Mothers' Day!!!