Tuesday, May 8, 2012

No, thank you

I'm back to work today after taking vacation days on Friday and Monday, thus giving me the coveted 4 day weekend.  I had no plans but knew I needed a little mental health respite from work.  It was great - I hung out with hubby on Friday morning, then lunch with a friend.  The whole 4 days were unstructured but with enough of the usual and pleasant aspects of my life incorporated to ease me back to my usual (mostly) grounded self.  I was actually looking forward to getting back to work!  Now that proves some solid rest, relaxation and renewal happened!

Upon returning, I remembered that today is the birthday of my very favorite client here, a dear now 46 y/o names Mary Agnes.  She's no bigger than a minute with a bright face, great red hair, and an infectious laugh.  She's non-verbal, but in her 46 years, she's become quite good at conveying her needs and wants without having to use words.

Anyhoo, her sister had planned a birthday party for Mary in the gym, and most of the staff and some of the other consumers were invited.  Having forgotten, I brought a jumbo salad for lunch, as well as a Chobani Strawberry for dessert.  As soon as I got here, I remembered the party and the voices in my head started chattering about what I'd do about the inevitable ice cream and cake.  I'm not kidding, I was in constant mind flux over "yes I will" or "no I won't", regarding my participation in the traditional birthday foods.  It was as if a board meeting was going on in my head.

When the time came and I was sitting in the gym with everyone, eating my salad, I was offered cake and ice cream.  Guess what I said???..."no, thank you."  "Are you sure?"  Yep, I was sure.  The cake combo was proffered 3 other times before the party was over, and my answer stayed the same.  And now I'm so glad.

During the mental voice confab in my head this morning, I reflected on the fact that if I had the cake and ice cream - no matter how much or how little, I'd want more.  I wouldn't have more because I wouldn't want to seem greedy and piggish in front of all the folks.  But I always want more, no matter how much or how little...see above.  And it would only be a matter of time before I'd get "more" of something - either later at work, or when I get home.  That's how it is with me.

So I successfully dodged the first food bullet of the day, and that increases my chances of dodging the next one that comes along, whenever it does.  And it will.  It doesn't have to be a party.  I can't count the number of parties for one I've had in my life.

As I type this, I'm enjoying my Chobani, which wouldn't be the least bit enticing had I had heavily iced birthday cake and ice cream.  But because I left that stuff out, the yogurt tastes like a decadent treat.  Imagine that!


  1. Anonymous08 May, 2012

    Yes. The "will want more, won't have more, will get more" phenom has become apparent to me, too. the last time, I finally sat down and thought about it...made myself tell myself, "See. You had that cake and weren't satisfied. It NEVER satisfies. You're always left wanting more. Perhaps you should just skip it. You know, self, since IT DOESN'T REALLY PLEASE YOU after all."

    Isn't it odd, how that works? I mean, I have the indulgence, probably seconds, but instead of feeling satisfied--I feel deprived because I can't have more. So, later & usually privately, I feel compelled to relieve my sense of deprivation. Which was caused by indulging...so I wouldn't feel deprived...

    Talk about a death spiral.

    Loved this post. :)


    1. Well said, Deb. You clearly know of what I speak! And I love "the death spiral".

  2. You rock!!! I know that inner debate; I have it often. But with me I have gotten to the potential lie that says "you can have this now, in moderation, without it leading to a binge." Maybe I can. But as Tami (Nutmeg Notebook) once so wisely said - "I never regret anything I didn't eat."

  3. I've had that internal dialogue many a times myself! I never regret "not having" food but I have often regretted eating things that derailed my healthy eating plan.

    Good for you! One success leads to more...

  4. You know what? It's gotten to the point that events like the one you describe don't usually have reall good cake and ice cream anyway...so why bother? I mean, it has to be REALLY good, high quality stuff for me to want it. The crappy stuff never satisfies because it's...crappy. The really good stuff? You only need a little because it totally satisfies. :-)

  5. I'm with Karen. We constantly have birthday things at my office and unless the dessert is spectacular I just say no thank. I figure if I'm going to offer up my hips the calories better be worth it :D

    I've also had that dialogue many times and if the food (and I don't mean just sweets) is good tasting I often want more. But then I ask myself "What do you want MORE? - The food or your figure, health and vitality?" That often does the trick of quieting those voices down.

  6. I deal with this too. I often refer to it as the "If you give a mouse a cookie..." syndrome! I loved those books and wouldn't you know it, if you give that mouse a cookie, the whole day ended up crazy. I'm glad that you said no to the cake and ice cream. Saying no feels so much better than the cake and ice cream would have tasted. Disappointed and guilty is not the way to go :)

  7. I made a deal with myself. IF I am going to choose to have ice cream or cake or a pastry it has to be totally satisfying. SO..it'll be one of those single serve small dixie cups of Hagen Daz; or one cupcake from a real bakery (homemade)...not crap.
    Crap (like Entenmanns Never Satisfies...you eat your way through half the box and it still sucks!)

  8. I left a note for you on my blog (comments on today's post, just below your comment).

  9. good for you! (your post story). Aware and able to apply is a good joint start to many great things. And it is so much nicer to feel good about one's actions than it is to regret.

  10. It's very empowering to "just say no" to dessert. Especially if we know that it will set us off for more. Weight loss is such a difficult endeavor, because we can't go cold turkey with food--unlike cigarettes and alcohol. And food is also EVERYWHERE and at EVERYTHING. You do rock!!