Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Quick post today to say thank you to my blog friends who are so kind and supportive.  It's a lovely community we have here.

I feel much better today - lighter.  Maybe not pound wise, though I didn't "step on" to find out.  But definitely mood wise.  Many of you seconded my idea of not stressing over each pound and each morsel of food that enters my temple for the next few days.  I think I keep expecting people to scold me when I confess my many and varied food iniquities.  Where does that come from?  Mom I guess, but she's been gone a long time...34 years!  I know she did the best she could with parenting, but she was up my craw about what I ate long before I ever had any related issues.  I was a skinny kid, but she'd "uh uh'd" every dessert I ever wanted.  I'm not blaming her or anyone for my struggles.  Just interesting to note.

My virus or whatever it is seems to be mobilizing on its way out, because I stepped up all the healthier practices yesterday, including NO SUGAR.  Also using my asthma meds as prescribed (following directions, go figure) is helping.  And the thing that helped the most...yesterday I got out and did a brisk 3 mile walk with a friend after work.  I swear, being out in the cold clean air did more for me than anything else.  Fresh air is a very good thing.

I finally started wrapping in earnest yesterday after the walk and almost finished everything that has arrived or been bought.  I'm still awaiting 2 shipments from Amazon (why can't I think of everything at once?!), but other than that, I'm feeling as ready as necessary.  And you knwo what I discovered a long time ago?  The holiday comes whether I'm "ready" or not, so best to let go of the perfectionistic crapola.  And you may quote me.

I just dashed out to get soup for lunch at a local gourmet wannabe shop. I got their homemade chicken noodle soup because it appeared thick with veggies.  Just had the first bite and it basically has no flavor and the veggies are mush.  Damn.  Well, if that's the worst thing that happens today, I can chalk up another winner.

Speaking of worst things - I have heard of several very difficult situations and tragedies in the last few days.  I found out that the 26 y/o son of a woman I used to play tennis with died 3 days ago.  No idea how or why.  Also, a woman I work with has a 30 y/o daughter who just had her 2nd baby a month ago.  Right after the delivery, she suddenly lost sight in one eye...long story short is that she has a melanoma tumor behind her eye and is having surgery today to remove the eye and the tumor.  Hopefully it hasn't spread, but it was so agressive that they had to do the surgery within 2 days of getting the biopsy report.  Another gal I work with was diagnosed with a sarcoma of the left hip and will begin treatment next week.

I'm not trying to be a downer, but rather just say that hearing such stories provides a huge perspective jolt for me.  I can get upset about a few pounds, or my healthy daughter not coming home for Christmas.  They say that if any group of people could toss all their problems and struggles into the center of the room to pick perhaps a lesser burden...each would take back his/her own stuff 99% of the time.  So much to pray for.  So much to be thankful for.

On a positive note, my closest friend and AA sponsor (who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 2+ years ago and never smoked) Lisa, who I've spoken of here before, just got back the results of her most recent PET scans, and all her cancer that remains has shrunk from 3 months ago.  She's hanging in and hanging on, and setting an amazing example for all of us who know her of how to live with terrifying uncertainty a day at a time.  With a 12 y/o and a 7 y/o, she has a lot to live for, and she's really living...not waiting to die.  Talk about powerful inspiration.

Well, so that wasn't such a quick post afterall.  If you made it this far down, thanks.  Have a good Christmas eve eve eve!


  1. I had to read your "throwing all problems into a corner and pick one" story to my husband. That's good. Perspective is such a huge part of our much we're satisfied with (or not). Sometimes I do get tired of "well the good thing is" mental gymnastics that I go through to get my mind out of a state of "woe is me" type of funk, but many times, doing that lil' gymnastic keeps me, brings reality...the truth of the matter is: I am blessed. And I probably would take my own burden back.

    God knows I've been in MUCH WORSE situations... I am thankful and blessed to be where I am right now.

  2. Funny how perfectionist crapola can drag us into a deep dark abyss isn't it? Glad you've seen your way out.

    You are correct, lots to be thankful for and it's good to try to keep all this in perspective.

  3. Thanks for the reminder that in spite of weight struggles, we need to keep things in perspective. May you have a peaceful holiday season. My best to you...