Monday, June 22, 2009

Second thoughts (not second helpings)

I have spent much of the weekend with my butt parked in a chair in front of my computer monitor doing some reading. Specifically I've been reading the blog "Half My Size" of "Pasta Queen", written by Jeanette Fulda, a midwestern gal (does being 2something negate the "gal" title and relegate her to "girl"?) who found herself at age 23 and relatively new out of college inching precariously close to the 400 pound mark some years back (2003) and decided to embark on a journey of weight loss, life style redo and healthier living and began chronicling said journey from day one. And it turns out day one wasn't the first day of the rest of her lifebut rather the beginning of several beginnings lasting many months before she began to hit her stride and begin the long, at times glacial-paced creep down the scale. She is bright, laugh out loud hilarious, honest, and incredibly inspiring.

I found this blog through another weight loss blog "Roni's Weigh", which is also very good and full of positivity, great ideas, recipes and inspiration, and once I clicked the link to PastaQueen and read a couple of current posts, knew I wanted to go back to her beginning and read the whole thing. I'm only up to August of 2006 where she's down over 160 pounds, but from August of 2003, this has been a lot of reading and I've enjoyed every morsel...just eaten it up. I do love food metaphors, esp. in this genre of weight loss blogging.

What prompts my second thoughts of this entry title is that in reading Jeanette's story, I see how relatively positive and self-affirming she is throughout, even in the beginning when she was lurking around the 380 lb mark. Sure, she's self-deprecating and pokes very good fun at herself and her girth, but never in a mean spirited, self-hating way. Being half way through the blog, I have a very good feel for the kind of person Jeanette is...down to earth, as real as they come, humble,and pretty self accepting. It's making me rethink my own 55+ year career as an always-struggling-with-weight-and-self-acceptance person whose default setting was deeply grooved in the "I suck in every way" position. Jeanette talks about how her family never made fun of or were mean to her about her weight (nor presumably anything else), where as my mom started telling me I was fat by age 5 or so. Never felt quite up to "the standard". So rather than beat myself up more about always beating myself up, I can suffice it to say that I came by my tendencies honestly.

Anyway, I'm loving reading this blog and am f-ing off at work every chance I get, continuing to read of the Pasta Queen and her triumphal entry into the world of the healthy and fit. And I'm totally inspired for my own journey and can't wait to get to the gym today for a work out.

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