Maybe, just maybe...

I had a good weekend with food and exercise. Actually a better 2 consecutive days than I've had in quite awhile. I got 2 long (over an hour each) walks, as well as spending about 3 hot, humid and very sweaty hours doing yard work yesterday. My food was good - not sugar free as I continually talk about trying to do, but with absolutely no overeating.


My vague sense of funkiness and anxiety has also shifted substantially, as it always does, despite my impatience for that to happen. What began the turn was getting to my meditation group last Wednesday evening for the first time in a month. It was so helpful to sit with other folks and just focus on my breathing for the nano second before THOUGHTS intruded, at which point I just returned to breathing. About 30 times in the 20 minute sit!

A friend from AA who has been a meditator for many years actually told me that in the getting still and quiet, she's able to finally observe her feelings - giving them recognition and acceptance that yield valuable information about ourselves, not to mention peace in the present moment. For some reason, I'd been resisting my feelings of antsiness and discontent. You know what they say...that which we resist persists. I've proven this to myself dozens of times - running away from the still small voice within seems to be my default setting, and it never works. I'm grateful that some higher force in the universe allowed me to break through and show up for meditation. The reason it had been so long since I'd been was because I was RESISTING it...out of fear? Dread? Who knows - but the weeks I missed, I had any number of excuses that sounded nothing like the truth!

Not much else from me today. I'm thankful to feel lighter, more content, and more anchored in the world here and now, as opposed to running from the present moment with worry about the future or guilt about the past. It's nice to start the week in a good place.