Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Okay - so I was beating myself up

Thanks to all the kind commenters yesterday for the encouragement, support and tough love you extended to me in response to my true confession # 42,346.  A couple folks basically said I was WAS being hard on myself, daring to contradict my protestations to the contrary.  Of course you guys were/are right.  My default setting is to over-own my piece in my own struggle and misery to the point of self pummeling, and that isn't productive.  So thanks again for the wonderful fellowship of support and motivation.  You're the best bunch of bloggees a girl could ever know! :)

I had a much better day yesterday.  Lots of water, a little exercise, no overeating.  Dinner was leftovers of homemade manicotti (of which I had one), low-carb meatloaf (of which I had about 3 ounces) and about 1/2 cup of potatoes and onions sauteed in a little butter.  Talk about ANTI Low Carb!  I need to stock up on fresh veggies which I'll do after work today, so I have no more of that kind of carbo-manic dinner.  While it was not a day of overeating, my dinner could have been saner.  But I had no seconds and very menial portions so that was a lot better than other days of late.

Just coming clean about where I am knocks some of the shame and isolation out of my day, which is where the blog is so great.  I'm still not really feeling OA meetings, and I can't really share about eating at AA (other than in passing), so the blog is a great outlet and I so appreciate people I've come to know and respect telling me when they hear me slinging the BS I'm so prone to conjur up in my wacky brain.

Here's to a good day today for all of us.  It's my intention (there's that word...) to stay more accountable here as to how I'm doing, even if I'm eating 2 cakes and 4 pies every day - which it's NOT my intention to do!


  1. You are so correct: self pummeling is never productive. Don't we get enough of that from complete strangers to ever need to do it to ourselves?!!

    Glad your day went better. Better is gooder.

  2. LOL! I'm so glad I read your blog :)

  3. One day in a row! WOO-HOO! Let's go for two now and keep it up. Glad to learn that you are in better spirits today. Be good to yourself. Work on your attitude at your meetings - perhaps you should sponsor someone. We learn best when we teach it. When we focus on others and their difficulties ours will fade away.

  4. What is low carb meatloaf? It seems like it would be low carb no matter what. Sounds good though. Anyhow, way more importantly - welcome back to being on track.

  5. I am day two in a row too! I did this core workout before work - holy shiz. My husband had heart surgery, so is on blood thinners and is always cold - so he set the thermostat to shut off the air at 80 degrees!

    I got out of bed, didn't even realize it until 25 minutes into the workout - it was like I was in a bikram yoga studio! Felt good to sweat that early in the morning too.

    And I had no wine yesterday - not while making dinner, not while watching t.v. - go me! :D


  6. And you're writing it all down, right?

  7. Hi Leslie! I just read your last post that you're referring to. It sounds just like my last berating of myself.

    I'd never judge you like that, why do I do it to myself? If we both just treated ourselves like a kind friend would, we'd probably both do better.

    :-) Marion

  8. We are so much harder on ourselves than we would ever be to our best friend. It's a pity really!

    Sometimes we have to take it one meal at a time and do our best.

    Wishing you another good day ahead.

  9. Put the bat down, and step away from the bat! Best advise I ever got. We are so alike. I give myself lots more credit for crappy things then I deserve. Pride in reverse, I thinks so.

    Hope your day is the best!

  10. Leslie, your comment about having a dozen muffin tops made me laugh out loud - thank you!!

    Hugs, Biz

  11. We live and learn, don't we!
    I think it's all good!

  12. Congrats! Amazing accomplishment.