The times that try a woman's soul

Just a quickie post for now. I had a bad food weekend which translates to eating too much both days. I didn't get on the scale this morning because it would just put me in a more pissed off mood than I've already been. I have no reason for being so irritable over the last few days other than the fact that I'm endlessly tired of being endlessly obsessed with eating and trying to stay on my plan. It's just so damn hard and I feel like a total broken record writing about this yet again. I should just write "Read every post I've written about binging" and press play again. Today (it's 5 p.m. where I dwell) I am clean so far, but just FEEL like eating. I don't know what I really want, and I don't feel like being sweet and gentle and loving with myself as a substitute for potato chips. I'm not going to give in to the food thoughts today, even if I have to go to bed at 7:30 p.m.

There is one frustrating thing right now...this past Saturday after about a 4 mile walk/jog (emphasis on walking), my L foot was hurting a lot, and by yesterday morning was really bad. I've had this pain at a subtle level on and off for several weeks and done my best to ignore it, but it hit critical mass Saturday. It's on the top of the foot and feels like it could be a stress fracture. Since my exercise on Saturday, I've done little more than try to ice and elevate the foot when not at work. Today I made an appointment to see a podiatrist at 6 p.m. and already had an X Ray, so hopefully I'll know something soon. Wouldn't you know it feels much better today, but I'm not going to play around with it anymore. I'm a little freaked to think I might not be able to do my exercise routine for awhile as I know it's playing a big role in my weight loss and improved health.

Finally, I went into a CVS drug store yesterday, and already the candy aisle is a full on orgy of Halloween candy. Holiday candy of any kind always tastes better to me than the equivalent non-holiday varieties...why is that? Plus, I could OD on candy corn in a New York minute if given the opportunity. It's only September 14th, for God's sake. What's a food addict to do??? I averted my gaze and avoided the aisle as though they were growing the H1N1 flu virus on its shelves, but I'm only one woman. Reese cups shaped like pumpkins are too damn good for me to hold out on forever! Far superior to the bourgeois round ones of the unfestive variety. I will stay strong TODAY. Tomorrow will have worries and challenges of its own!