Monday, September 14, 2009

The times that try a woman's soul

Just a quickie post for now. I had a bad food weekend which translates to eating too much both days. I didn't get on the scale this morning because it would just put me in a more pissed off mood than I've already been. I have no reason for being so irritable over the last few days other than the fact that I'm endlessly tired of being endlessly obsessed with eating and trying to stay on my plan. It's just so damn hard and I feel like a total broken record writing about this yet again. I should just write "Read every post I've written about binging" and press play again. Today (it's 5 p.m. where I dwell) I am clean so far, but just FEEL like eating. I don't know what I really want, and I don't feel like being sweet and gentle and loving with myself as a substitute for potato chips. I'm not going to give in to the food thoughts today, even if I have to go to bed at 7:30 p.m.

There is one frustrating thing right now...this past Saturday after about a 4 mile walk/jog (emphasis on walking), my L foot was hurting a lot, and by yesterday morning was really bad. I've had this pain at a subtle level on and off for several weeks and done my best to ignore it, but it hit critical mass Saturday. It's on the top of the foot and feels like it could be a stress fracture. Since my exercise on Saturday, I've done little more than try to ice and elevate the foot when not at work. Today I made an appointment to see a podiatrist at 6 p.m. and already had an X Ray, so hopefully I'll know something soon. Wouldn't you know it feels much better today, but I'm not going to play around with it anymore. I'm a little freaked to think I might not be able to do my exercise routine for awhile as I know it's playing a big role in my weight loss and improved health.

Finally, I went into a CVS drug store yesterday, and already the candy aisle is a full on orgy of Halloween candy. Holiday candy of any kind always tastes better to me than the equivalent non-holiday varieties...why is that? Plus, I could OD on candy corn in a New York minute if given the opportunity. It's only September 14th, for God's sake. What's a food addict to do??? I averted my gaze and avoided the aisle as though they were growing the H1N1 flu virus on its shelves, but I'm only one woman. Reese cups shaped like pumpkins are too damn good for me to hold out on forever! Far superior to the bourgeois round ones of the unfestive variety. I will stay strong TODAY. Tomorrow will have worries and challenges of its own!


  1. Hello Leslie. Sorry about your weekend. Really tough. And I know what you mean about having to say the same thing over again on your blog - I feel the same way. As we both know, the only thing you can do is try to do as well as you can today.

    Re loving yourself, have you seen Irene's post today on her blog "livin large"? (Link on my blog) It's all about loving yourself in words that completely make sense and it's so good I'm going to print it out and stick it above my fridge.

    Glad you've acted on your foot. I had trouble with my feet for many years after soft tissue damage. The thing which helped was trainers with a very high arch support.

    Re holiday chocolate - I've seen CHRISTMAS stuff out on the shelves already! As if I didn't have enough to deal with right now without mince pies and chocolate selection boxes!

    Stay strong and hang in there.
    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

  2. Leslie,
    Thank you for the wonderful comment on my blog and for visiting me reglarly...It means so much to me...I too am going to follow you...this is a wonderful post...Sorry you had a not so good weekend...Hang in there it does get better!