My post today is not food-addiction related, but it is bad behavior related. I had a major accomplishment today - I made the FINAL PAYMENT on a credit card that I ran up all by my little self over several years of compulsive spending (jeeez, is there any addiction in which I haven't dabbled? yes - gambling, sex-though my husband wouldn't mind THAT one, drugs...but I digress).
This is huge. I've been eagerly anticipating this day for a couple of years, once I figured out that the balance would disappear a lot quicker if I stopped using the damn card! The balance was well into the 7000's and while I always kept my payments current, the interest and burden were weighing me down constantly. (Don't you love how glibly food/weight metaphors roll of the tongue, or through the fingers in this case?) It felt like I could never get ahead of the ever-accruing debt.
It's interesting to look back and wonder what I have to show for all that money I spent when I didn't have it to spend. What objects, trips, clothes,groceries, meals out - can I even name at this point? We all know what I have for those last 2 on the list...pounds and mounds of dimpled flesh and droopy assorted areas! How insane is to realize that my payment today to end this debt may be paying for some dinner out from a couple of years ago, or a hair cut and color, or a sack of binge food from the grocery store? When it comes to the misuse, no, abuse, of money and credit, I am a reformed woman! I feel a new freedom having this particular affliction fall away. I look forward to "losing" a lot more "stuff" as time marches on.
Well done Leslie. This looks like part of an overall pattern to put right the things you're not happy with in your life. You've obviously been *actively* working towards where you are now for some time, both financially and in terms of your eating.
ReplyDeleteI think this is all very positive. You should be proud of where you are right now and what you've achieved.
It shows how much you want to move on with your life, how much you want to change. Maybe this will tell you that you ARE ready to embrace change, to try out a new, smaller body size.
Best wishes as ever,
Bearfriend xx
That's a great accomplishment! COngrats on getting THAT burden off your shoulders :)
ReplyDeleteIt was a great day when I got rid of credit card debt too! I couldn't even imagine how much of it was for food... Way to go!!
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