Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Redistributing the ass - ets

I made a poor clothing choice today, and my writing about it here is prompted by the fact that I feel like a sausage sitting here behind my desk. I have a new pair of denim capris that are cute, and a size 16. I've been in 18s and 2x's since what seems like the dawn of eternity, so the 16 makes me feel the progress I've made in losing the 21 pounds (so far), even though no one else can see the label. And 16 is not exactly a petite size, but given from whence I came, it feels good to me!

Anyway, I have on the capris today. They fit pretty well. The mistake came in that I also wore a 1x v-neck top that I haven't been able to wear for 2 years; and back then I could only wear it for about 2 weeks at the last low weight I hit in September of '07. It fit for just about that long - 2 lousy weeks, before I started beefing back up. So this morning when I put on the capris and tried to pair them with some of my usual tops, the bigness of the shirts and the way they fell from shoulders made me look fatter than I now am, totally negating the slimming effect of the pants. I got bold and tried on this v- neck top. It fit and looked great and gave me a positively svelte appearance, so off I went to work knowing my weight loss was particularly evident in this ensemble. And it paid off because several people commented on how good I'm looking.

But what's happened over the 6 hours I've been at work is that it's all feeling tighter now, starting with my oft-mentioned bra that is apparently trying to bisect me cleanly into an upper and lower half. I feel like my clothes are painted on from just below the bra band to just below my um, spare tire (large belly). I swear none of it felt like that this morning. WTF!!&*$#!? I guess as the day has progressed, I've eaten 2 meals and a snack, my body has relaxed out a bit and I've expanded. Can that really happen or is this just my freakish frame? Now I want to rip off these "thin" clothes and don the closest muumuu. Damn. I just want to be thin already so that what I put on just fits right all the time!

On the lighter side (pun intended), I had a successful day 1 yesterday (recall my committment to have a binge free sane eating week) and woke today feeling good and clear headed and lean. Nothing muddies up my head like a sugar binge, for sure. And a fellow blogger, Friend of the Bear, suggested yesterday that I knock off weighing myself everyday to help me stop playing the scale game, which was an excellent suggestion and one I wouldn't have done had someone else not suggested it. So I'm on track behaviorally and I can't let "feeling fat" flummox my efforts. I think the answer to my continued thick middle that starts bulging at the seams by mid afternoon is to continue to gradually pare of the extra pounds. I know it will take time...more time than I want. But I can do it if I keep my eye on the prize of a healthier leaner self and not get caught up in one day's indiscretions or bad feelings. And in just a few minutes, I can change into my workout clothes, which will feel MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE, and let all my pent up cells breathe a little! This will be one workout I'm gonna be thankful for!


  1. Hi Leslie. It's so great to get into smaller clothes! This is how I will monitor my progress when I get going (hopefully by next week). My goals are set out in terms of ever decreasing pairs of trousers!

    The water retention thing is difficult. I retain pounds of water as the day wears on. It's especially bad during hot weather. I don't know of any solution to lower body water retention, but I know that for me a toned stomach really helps stop the retention there. Good strong muscle tone seems to deter the water.

    I have tried herbal diuretics but found they seem to encourage my body to store even more water, as a defence presumeably.

    And using the word defence reminds me that I once had a healing session and must have been retaining water due to stress before it as afterwards I couldn't stop peeing and had lost 4lbs by the next morning!

    So I think water retention is often linked to stress. Some kind of primeval defence mechanism?!

    At least you're looking forward to working out!

    Re weighing, have you seen New Me's take on weighing? Don't know if you read that blog already but link is on my blog list. She's done a couple of posts on it recently including one today.

    21lbs lost is a considerable achievement BTW!

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

  2. Ahh..I've been there...pants fit in the am, need to unbutton them by the pm...water is our dearest friend and often mean spirited enemy! Congratulations on the 16! I can't remember ever wearing a 16. I hope to get there someday. Well Done!