For just about ever - I have been able to enjoy a graham cracker "board" or 2 on occasion and not be triggered or tempted in any way to continue muching through their waxy confines. I even mentioned a couple of months back how one of my afternoon snacks that felt like a treat and I enjoyed guilt-free was 2 graham cracker boards with a Laughing Cow Lite wedge. A few naysayers and Gloomy Guses commented after about how it was great that I could eat a couple of graham crackers and not go hog wild because they couldn't. Awww, too bad.
Well. Yesterday after dinner (with a clean day up to that point) I had my 2 grahams with LCLite wedge, and SOMETHING HAPPENED. I didn't sense it at first, but rapidly after swallowing said snack, my mind/mouth started "thinking" about another. I valiantly told myself to breathe, and to sit through the thoughts. Self, said I, this will pass and you'll be fine. But the switch had been flipped to the "ON" position and within about 45 minutes I decided to have "just 2 more". Right. You know where this is going. 15 minutes later I was looking at the empty brownish wax wrapper and wondering what the hell happened. AND THEN I decided to open the last pack in the box, and had 4 more of the 8 that was in there. I pulled out 4 of them and ran the rest of those grahammy little bastards under the faucet, drowning their sorry savory low fat goodness. It was the only way. I had to do it.
That was all I had. It was ridiculous, but compared to true binges I have known, this was small potatoes, if you'll excuse the food metaphor. But really. Where on earth did that come from? I wasn't antsy, angry, scared or sad. I was alone, but not lonely. I think it was the sugar. Why this particular snack hadn't kicked my ass before is beyond me. But it is now 87,000th on the list of products blackballed from my pantry. Sugar for me is, at best, unpredictable. So when in doubt, leave it out. There are plenty of other things that I can snack on that don't turn me into a heat seeking food crazed missile.
Oh - also I didn't exercise yesterday. I walked the dog, but only a mile. It was so freaking muggy that I just said "screw it" and went home to hold down the couch. Not long ago I talked about how doing one good thing makes the next good thing more likely. Likewise doing one