Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Important Info-graham

I jinxed myself.  That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. 

Recall yesterday I waxed prolific about how well I've been doing?  No binges, good exercise and whatever else I blathered about?  Well last night, a flat object, about 3 inches by 5 inches, kicked my ass.  Had its way with me - and not in a good way!  And after quite a long time of treating me with respect.  Believe it or not, I was blindsighted and dumbfounded by a lousy low fat graham cracker.  I know - it's a sad commentary on Nabisco products, but this is a story that must be told. 

For just about ever - I have been able to enjoy a graham cracker "board" or 2 on occasion and not be triggered or tempted in any way to continue muching through their waxy confines.  I even mentioned a couple of months back how one of my afternoon snacks that felt like a treat and I enjoyed guilt-free was 2 graham cracker boards with a Laughing Cow Lite wedge.  A few naysayers and Gloomy Guses commented after about how it was great that I could eat a couple of graham crackers and not go hog wild because they couldn't.  Awww, too bad.

Well.  Yesterday after dinner (with a clean day up to that point) I had my 2 grahams with LCLite wedge, and SOMETHING HAPPENED.  I didn't sense it at first, but rapidly after swallowing said snack, my mind/mouth started "thinking" about another.  I valiantly told myself to breathe, and to sit through the thoughts.  Self, said I, this will pass and you'll be fine.  But the switch had been flipped to the "ON" position and within about 45 minutes I decided to have "just 2 more".  Right.  You know where this is going.  15 minutes later I was looking at the empty brownish wax wrapper and wondering what the hell happened.  AND THEN I decided to open the last pack in the box, and had 4 more of the 8 that was in there.  I pulled out  4 of them and ran the rest of those grahammy little bastards under the faucet, drowning their sorry savory low fat goodness.  It was the only way.  I had to do it.

That was all I had.  It was ridiculous, but compared to true binges I have known, this was small potatoes, if you'll excuse the food metaphor.  But really.  Where on earth did that come from?  I wasn't antsy, angry, scared or sad.  I was alone, but not lonely.  I think it was the sugar.  Why this particular snack hadn't kicked my ass before is beyond me.  But it is now 87,000th on the list of products blackballed from my pantry.  Sugar for me is, at best, unpredictable.  So when in doubt, leave it out.  There are plenty of other things that I can snack on that don't turn me into a heat seeking food crazed missile.

Oh - also I didn't exercise yesterday.  I walked the dog, but only a mile.  It was so freaking muggy that I just said "screw it" and went home to hold down the couch.  Not long ago I talked about how doing one good thing makes the next good thing more likely.  Likewise doing one lazy wrong thing.  Oh well, it's history now.  The naysayers and Gloomy Guses knew something I didn't - and for all the snarky thoughts I had about those comments, I humbly apologize.


  1. I missed the naysayers, but I do think it is always a better option to be kind to people and try to stay positive... so don't worry about those gloomy gusses! Even when we slip up we are GOOD PEOPLE with goals and hopes and dreams who are deserving of support and friendship. I believe in you :)

  2. Was I one? Because I know I cannot eat just one (or two) graham crackers. I had a nice little binge on them myself on one of my summer lake trips, the day after eating a smore. Sigh.

    If you figure out why this happens, please let me know. Because there are many foods that I too have banished that I once could eat moderately. Triscuits. Sigh.

  3. I completely, positively, ONE HUNDRED PERCENT believe you can beat this back Leslie! I believe that you can eat a graham cracker now and then. I believe that the day will come when you will eat anything you want and it will be enough.

    You rock, simply for the fact that you do not give up. I'm cheering for you!!

  4. I hear ya, sister. Same darned thing happens to me at times. But it is done, and as you said, small potatoes. Just look to the next right thing, as I am sure you are. You are super cool like that!

  5. Graham crackers banned from this address as well. For me, one serving is one of the waxed paper packages. I am not willing to have the anxiety I would feel if they were in the house and I had to control myself. Sad but true.

  6. Ahhh, so your human after all!!LOL! You have such a way with could write a book (I'd buy it)!

    Oh Leslie, I think you're doing fantastic.

  7. Blowing it happens. Much like poo, unfortunantly.

    I am not sure that you need to ban it entirely, but you know yourself, and if you feel that is what you need to do, by all means, ban those little rectangles of tempt. I know my personal rectangle of tempt that can't enter the house is a chocolate bar.

    What am I saying, ANY form of chocolate. If I have it in the house, it doesn't stay there. So if it works for you, do it, we are all rooting for you.


  8. I eat too many of those too...
    I now longer buy then since my girls no longer want some and I end up inhaling them...or at least I have a distant memory of that.

  9. Ugh, sorry the graham crackers got the best of you...THIS time. I'm with Helen - one of these days you will have the power over them. But, I do keep certain foods out of my house when I know they are going to cause me trouble - sometimes I just need to make my life a little less stressful by doing that. Glad you are not beating yourself up too much over this.

  10. Well, Leslie, I am someone who has the capability of binging on ANYTHING, let alone gluten and sugar.

    I have binged on fruit, yogurt, cauliflower even.... So I feel for you. And I understand about the "small pototoes" in comparison comment.

    It still feels like a binge, tho, doesn't it? That means we've made progress! I know the day when that little indescretion would have been usual eating for me. A binge, well, a binge was something else entirely.

    Like, I said--we've made progress! And SUPER CONGRATULATIONS on performing the soggy death. :D Wahoo, you!


  11. Leslie, like you said it's history now. Move on, sadder but wiser. I have a very long list of "do not ever buy again" things. Every once in a while, I'll see if I can "eat just one," but it doesn't usually happen. Nabisco, big enough to do without your $$ for as long as it takes.

  12. I can not be trusted with those in the house...that being said I have an open box of them in my cupboard right now. *sigh* I made a dessert last week with them, and this week I need some to make another I keep telling myself that they are OFF LIMITS for the recipe I am making. UGH!

    Moving can not change the past, plan for a better future! :)

  13. "The naysayers and Gloomy Guses knew something I didn't - and for all the snarky thoughts I had about those comments, I humbly apologize."

    sometimes they are naysayers and gloomy guses and negative nancys, but most of the time, they just are relaying reality. And reality doesn’t have to be negative. It just is what it is.

  14. I just made 1/2 batch of brownie batter and ate it. Uncooked.


    But, I'm hoping that we're going to be able to do this. You and me. I'm hoping.

  15. Your writing is such an absolute joyous entertainment for me. I just love it.

    I've found I can binge on anything. "Just" another bite...another lick...another nibble....oh crap....did I seriously "just" eat all that. Yep. Been there :)

  16. I'm trying to remember all the things in the pile of 87,000 forbidden food items...and the only thing I can seem to recall is dried cranberries. lol Those graham crackers get me every time, too, girl. Haven't had any in my house in at least a year....just too dangerous. :)

  17. Oh yes I can relate, I have had a pig out with said graham crackers myself!

    I wonder what you had for dinner prior to the binge, was it carbs? Sometimes a higher carb meal will set me off to want more carbs. Just a thought.

    Not too much damage was done, you can dust the crumbs off and move on!

    I did write a post today that you might enjoy reading that might be helpful regarding eating issues.

  18. A whole package of graham crackers is a splurge. Spreading canned cake frosting on them like butter is a binge. It's all relative.

    " ...heat seeking food crazed missile."

    You're so much fun to read!

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  20. I, too, can not eat just one graham cracker,especially if I am having a glass of milk alongside. Bravo for drowning the last of the gummy little bastards. It's a new day now! Michele