Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Innies and Outies

I'm way behind in posting and reading blogs and hope to catch up today.  Haven't posted since Saturday, and I realized something this morning.  When I miss more than 2 days posting and reading, I start to feel very disconnected from our blog community and all my blog friends, who I consider to be everyone whose blog I've read in this weight loss and fitness arena.  I feel "apart from" rather than a part of something that has become a major source of support, friendship and inspiration in my life (not to mention recipes!)

The disconnected feeling is similar to how I feel when I go a couple days without an AA meeting, which happens very rarely.  It's not that I feel like drinking (or in the case of blogging, bingeing my brains out), but I seem to become aware of something very fundamental missing from my life.  If I'm on vacation I'm much less aware of the absence of these conventions that have become so ingrained in my daily practices.  But when I'm just being lazy or busy or a combination of both, I start to get irritable, even moving into self pity.  I guess that's why AA's been such a fantastic addition to my life, besides the obvious benefit of helping me finally stop drinking many years ago after years of trying to do it on my own.  With apologies to Barbra Streisand, I'm a "person who needs people".

These musings got me thinking about extroverts vs. introverts.  I googled the terms, even though I know what they each are and some of the characteristics that each of these styles plays in personality and behavior.  I found one link that I liked because rather than the old-fashioned notions of extroverts being outgoing, loud and have many friends while introverts are shy and have few friends (I actually found a site that said that!), it talked about the 2 tendencies reflecting where people get their energy and inspiration from; either from within themselves or from other people.  Interesting that the site that appealed to me most was not one devoted to pshychology; rather to corporate leadership and business strategies.  And because of that focus, they also had a list of suggestions for optimal ways to interact with each type in professional settings.  You can see the brief summary here.  You can read it in a minute if you're interested.

I'm definitely more extroverted overall.  My need and desire for frequent human connection is more than just liking people.  I found a good quote at this site that sums it up:  "The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), based on Carl Jung’s theories about psychological type preferences, identifies introversion and extroversion, among other qualities. In general, introverts find socializing tiring, while extroverts feel energized by interacting with others. That doesn’t mean that introverts are necessarily shy or misanthropic–in fact, they may be very outgoing–but they need time alone to recharge." 

Yep - I definitely am energized by being with people, both literally - in person, as well as virtually, via this wonderful community of fellow humans who interact through blogging and commenting.  Like an introvert, I definitely need time alone, but more for rest and reflection than getting energized and fueled with motivation and inspiration.  When I'm alone too long, my head gets squirrely and can take me into neighborhoods I'd best not self-criticism, pessimism about possibility for change, even wandering into the kitchen to fill an emptiness I can't identify.  But get me into a place with other people where I'm not dwelling on "all me all the time" (God forbid), and I come alive.  It's so interesting how "all God's chillun'" are so different...even folks who are a lot alike.


My weigh in yesterday to officially end Tammy's summer challenge found me at 208.5.  That means my net loss for the month was a staggering .5 pounds.  This isn't rocket science...and I'm not beating myself up, but in a month I should have been able to easily lose 10 pounds...that is, if I did what it takes to lose weight.  Good days, bad days, neutral days in the wrong configurations do not = weight loss.  I'm not giving up.  I've had some success this month in the water consumption arena that I chose to focus on in Loretta's challenge.  I've been drinking at least 96 oz each day, and I know that has probably helped me not gain during a month where my efforts have been shoddy at best. 

I'm establishing a few goals for the next ten days until the September 10th Friday weigh in:
1.  Write down all food eaten each day with approx. calorie counts - goal of no more than 1600/day
2.  30 minutes exercise 5 days/wk minimum
3.  Continue water consumption of 96 oz/day at least
4.  100% cash register honesty in my reporting binges - no omitting of the truth.  There are so many totally honest bloggers who really admit when they have "episodes" of eating.  I often leave out certain details for fear I'll sound like a broken record of failure with working my goals.  I never think others are failures when they struggle.  Rather I'm blown away by people's honesty.  So that's my other goal for the month.

That's it from me today.  But since I'm a people who needs people, I'll be back soon!  What about you?  Are you an innie or an outie?


  1. I'm an outgoing introvert!

    In fact, I often take my own car to even family events as I tire of the people much faster than Mr. Helen, who could be surrounded by people 24/7 and it might not be enough. I swear the man should have had a dozen children (uh, but not with me).

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: one of the reasons I love the blogging community is that if I get sick and tired of you people I can just leave for a while. Ha! I'm sort of kidding there but you know what I mean.

  2. "This isn't rocket science...and I'm not beating myself up, but in a month I should have been able to easily lose 10 pounds...that is, if I did what it takes to lose weight. "

    I call BS on this! easily REALLY? you are not beating yourself up? BS lady.

    just sayin'

  3. I'm still learning whether I'm truly an innie or an outie!

  4. You know I'm not a weight loss blog but I love your blog and you are doing good in my book. Innie or outie. I don't know. Good luck with your goals. I am so behind on reading. I give up on catching up. Don't read my post if you are trying to lose weight because I am bad most of the time. I give up on trying to lose any more weight . Just trying to not gain more. It is a losing battle for me. I have to much time at home on my hands. You are doing good . Keep it up.

  5. What an interesting post and what a cute way to rename those! My initial reaction is that I am an "innie" because I am shy by nature and a homebody and very unskilled at small talk. The idea of going to a party where I won't know people scares me and I can't imagine that being fun:( That said, I used to work in HR and loved being a trainer which is quite an "outie" job. And like you, this internet community rocks my boat right now.

  6. I am very, very much an "innie". I am quite happy to work with others, such as my volunteer jobs, or being a participant in a ren faire (as an actor, no less), but I need time away from people to 'decompress', or I start letting the female dogs out in force...

    But blog folks can be innies, or outies, and they are all buddies!



  7. Innie here.

    I wonder... would more people end up being Innies, if they weren't trying to distract themselves from the "voices" inside their head? (NOT suggesting that is always the case, just maybe in a few cases).

    I learned that in order to enjoy solitude and not sink down into "those" thoughts, it was important not to run from them and distract from them, but to listen to them, identify them, then address them in order to respond with TRUTH.

    I learned to challenge those thoughts with 4 questions:
    are they true?
    are they in my best interests?
    are they good for my health?
    do they help me reach my goals?

    If they failed the 4 Question test (and they usually did), I learned to dig for the truth, and confront the stinkin thinkin, and get it OUT of my head.

    Um... it's a long process, so still doing it.
    But I can now usually enjoy Me as a companion. :-D


  8. On Myers-Briggs, I'm a INTJ. :) If you've read about those types, now you know the details of my weirdness. :)

    Great post, Leslie. We're goning to do this thing, we are!


  9. I am an outie who operates like an inny. Have you ever taken the Meyer Briggs personality assessment test ? Here is one simple variation of this test I am an INFJ- and this assessment has changed throughout the years.

  10. I am in the middle of that scale. Sometimes I prefer to be an innie, other times an outie.

    "I never think others are failures when they struggle." Me, either. I feel as bad for them as I do for myself when my wheels are spinning.

  11. I'm an INTJ. I definitely need time to myself to recharge. When I taught, I was a primary school librarian. I had to extrovert all day long--with young individual students, with my classes, with teachers, parents and staff. I can sure do extrovert things, and I'm rather good at it (if I do say so myself). But once I got home, DH knew not to get in my face for at least 45 minutes. I needed to re-charge. I absolutely loathe parties where I don't know most of the people. But don't worry, some of my best friends are ESFP--really. When I discovered the Myers Briggs personality indicators I felt that I truly understood myself.

  12. I am an introvert but I can easily make an environmental correction, meaning I can pull it together to be a leader and take charge when I have to. I hate big parties and feel exhausted after being around a lot of people.

    I married an extrovert! He love being around lots of people, can circulate and talk to complete strangers in any situation with ease!

    I am an ISFJ on the Meyer Briggs. It makes hubby and I a good fit! We took a class on this one time and we learned so much about how to interact with in our marriage because of our different personality profiles.

  13. Im an introvert on the scale...for me I LOVE people but when I re-energize it's usually home, with husband and child, QUIETLY.

  14. I am a total introvert and an off-the-scale INTJ. Having said that, thank goodness, I learned a long time ago to embrace those qualities and not run from them. I am not "shy" and in my career, had to function effectively in large group situations and new settings. Being an introvert doesn't mean you can't do that or can't enjoy doing that. It just means for every 2 hours spent being "stimulated," you've got to have 2 hours to recover. I'll always be happiest alone or with one, maybe two others I'm comfortable with!

    This is a great post, Leslie! Funny how several of the commenters I consider blogging "friends" are exactly where I am on the Myers-Briggs scale.

  15. I'm such an "outie" that I think I scare people sometimes. I don't ever really shut up. My brother in law made it a joke in our wedding because my husband is the same way.

    When I started working for myself it was hard being at home with no one but the dogs. Luckily I started working 3 hours a day at a friends agency where I get my daily dose of interaction with people.

    Very interesting post Leslie and don't beat yourself up mmmkay??? :)

  16. Interesting post and article - thanks for sharing! :o) I'm definitely an 'innie' and in *real life* (as opposed to online!) I've often been told by people who don't really know me that I come across as cold and aloof, when I'm really not! :o(

    Craig is the only introvert in a family of extroverts (poor bugger!) and his family do push us both to socialise, when we'd really rather be on our own or with each other! I think Twitchit is definitely an 'outie', although time will tell! She's certainly helping to bring me out of my shell! :o)

    Hope you have a lovely weekend.