Sunday, November 14, 2010

Guardedly optimistic and on TRACK

I did my first Sunday morning weigh in since incorporating Allan's challenge/method of eating/water drinking to my daily plan.  I did weigh in Friday morning which was among the top 3 miserable "morning afters" I've known in the food realm.  (In the alcohol realm?  Let's not go there, smile smile.  It's been 19 years since THOSE days.  At least I was skinny then.)

I was so ashamed of weight Friday I couldn't write it down.  I knew there was much water volume 'mongst those lbs, but also calories of varied shapes and sizes.  All last week save the one day I resisted, food was beaconing to and seducing me.  My husband only WISHES I'd succumb to him with as much abandon and frequency as I do carbohydrates, proteins and fats:) 

(I just read that line to Hubby and he smiled and agreed ;-D .  BTW, he has never ever uttered a word about my weight, even when I used to beg for ultimatums or disapproval, certain they would jar me into rigorous weight loss.  His answer was, "Leslie, you have to lose weight for yourself if you want to.  I love you no matter what."  Wow.  And yes I know how fortunate I am.)

A piece of info about moi is that while I love junk food, I also love healthy food.  I can overdose on any manner of healthy food, as has been echoed by many bloggers.  My binges often start by a little overdoing of something healthy - like fruit.  Then a piece of nutritious healthy cheese.  Then a few high fiber healthy crackers (read CRACK) with some more healthy cheese.  Off to China I go.

I digress, as usual.  Friday morning I weighed 212.  This morning I weighed 208.3.  At least that makes me feel better temporarily.  I've been drinking tons of water (which I always do until a binge sets in) but also keeping track of how much.  But I've been doing something for 2 WHOLE DAYS that I haven't done in years.  And I'm loving it! Guess?????????????

Tracking!  I'm writing down every single thing that I eat, along with as accurate a calorie count as possible, because I'm sticking to a set # of cals each day.  I bought myself a notebook with a pretty cover, and I have a special pen, and that notebook is with me at all constant companion.  I know, we just met 2 days ago and still in the honeymoon phase, but so far we're firing on all cylinders together and I'm finding freedom with this I never thought possible.  Whaaa??????? Did God reach down do a frontal lobotomy on me whilst I slept?  If so, thank You, for doing for me what I can't do for myself.

Ain't she purty?  I'm calling her Notey.  How clever is that?  Pathetic, but you'll now know who I'm speaking of when I refer to her.

Here's what I think...having set a relatively high weight goal for myself has given me up to 1870 calories to eat a day.  Usually when I try to be "good" I am shooting for 1400-1500 tops.  Yeah, I'm sure I could go down faster, but I'd be endlessly conscious of needing wanting more.  1870 gives me a nice volume of food.  I don't have to eat that much but for now, I am because I need to begin somewhere.  So when I write down my food and calories, I run a daily total as well, noting how many I have left for the day.  (This is starting to sound like Richard Simmons' Deal a Meal, haha.)

I feel more enthusiastic and hopeful than I have in a long time about the possibility of me breaking through my binge/restrict cycle.  The old black and white thinking of an addict that sets me up for failure every time.  Yesterday I actually felt "done" around 1500 calories, but decided it was better for me to have a yogurt and cereal to come to 1800.  Because it's there in my notebook, in black and white; so I can tell my manipulative sick mind to "shut up but thanks for sharing" and stay with the plan.  When the plan is only in my head it WILL get lost.

This is the breakfast I consumed this morning, and I'm calling it "the TJ", because I copied it from dear TJ when she posted a picture of the identical yesterday.  It's content, both literal and caloric, were written in Notey before I took the first bite.  It's 1/2 banana, a serving of oatmeal and 2 tbsp of PB2 for a total of 280 calories.  A little lite on protein, but I'm going to do a frittata ala Biz in a while to beef up the protein grams.  And I will write down every single bit of it!  Yay me!  And you don't hear me say that often.

Finally I have to show you a photo of nice surprise that Hubby and I got on Friday (aka my most recent
day of reckoning):  It's a front page story in the Swarthmorean, a local newspaper I like to call the "Fishwrapper" (except for this week!), of our daughter Jean.  The paper has done a series of stories about Peace Corps volunteers, and up to now they've been people who served years ago.  Tom had emailed Jean that journal was asking for PCV stories and suggested she contact them.  That was a long time ago, and we were both certain Jean probably wouldn't have been all that interested in pursuing it.  Apparently she did! A friend called to tell me about it, so I went and bought 10 copies to send to the fam.

Please have a happy and safe Sunday.  I'm looking forward to taking little Notey with me every where I go and showing her the ropes of my life.  Apparently she has a lot to teach me!


  1. You and I are on the same page. I feel the motivation for the first time in a long time. So glad we're both doing the SDDDY Challenge. I know it's helping me--I think because it is concrete, in terms of the water and food. It tells me what I must do to get this weight off. Have a great Sunday!

  2. wow Leslie I'm so proud!!!!! You are doing great. I'm going to try to do the same thing this week. I need to find my notey :) Thanks for the inspiration and props to Mr. Leslie. We're lucky to have such wonderful husbands!

  3. :) I have a breakfast named after me! YIPPEEEE! I am so excited! :) hehe My brother calls my breakfast sandwich a TJ SPECIAL :) haha!

    I love your Notey Notebook- and I love that you are tracking! :) YOU GO GIRL! :)

    Have a GREAT Sunday my friend! :) ENJOY!

  4. The breakfast is great, but not for someone on a diet. Too many carbs in the morning. Let's start the day with protein, then add the carbs later if you need them..Try it...

  5. WOOOHOOOOOO, YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

    I love it when that switch is flipped! I always come up with lots of theories as to how that happens...except when the switch flips back to fail, my well thought out theories can't flip it back.

    I have come to accept that I don't have a clue as to what is going on! Which puts me in the enviable position of having to just trust God. :} So much better, really, than trusting me--the food addict extraordinaire.

    I'm rooting for your switch to be permanently set on "Wahoo!" level. :D

    And how cool is that pic of your daughter! You have every right to be proud. :D Congrats, mom, on a job well done.


    OH, I posted that "Random Act of Culture" clip. so cool.

  6. Hey girl!!! I love Notey!! Sounds like you're in a really good place, and that makes me smile. I'm so thriled that you joined the challenge. Allan is tough, but he only wants to see us shrink our asses along with him. He's a great inspiration to me...I hope he is to you, too. :)

  7. Notey is pretty! And very, very cool article about your daughter - I would be busting my buttons over seeing my child profiled like that!

  8. I'm a big believer in writing down my food. I've been doing so for 10 years and now 16 weeks! I had actually stockpiled these weight watcher food diaries to do it in but who would've thought I'd ever run out of them? I have one more 3 month diary left and I'm out! I'm glad my abstinence has outlasted my diaries but I guess I'm either going to look for a Notey or start copying!

  9. You wrote: "It's been 19 years since THOSE days. At least I was skinny then."

    I don't know if I was 'skinny' during THOSE days, but I sure didn't eat much. I think a size 12 back then was probably normal, and I remember buying size 12 suits for work. On sale, so I'd have more money for happy hour! Heh.

    If you work on the food part, I'll work on the exercise. Maybe we could do a mind-meld and actually achieve some real weight loss!