Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Continuing to write it all down.  Yesterday I wrote more than I'd have liked, but nonetheless it all got entered into Notey.  Today will be a bit of a challenge, but at this moment I'm up to it.  I wasn't planning to post today, but maybe it will help for me to declare my intentions here, when I know I'll need to follow up tomorrow as to how it goes.

I'm going out for dinner tonight with friends - haven't done this for several weeks and am looking forward to it.  We're going to a great little Italian Cafe in Media called Fellini's.  They have incredible pasta dishes, pizzas and the like.  They also have some options that I will enable me to stay within my calorie limit.  Here's what I plan to have:
1 - a grilled portabella marinated in olive oil, garlic and herbs topped with a house dressing.  My plan is to NOT get the dsg, even on the side, and either
2 a - a large arugula salad tossed with olive oil and balsamic and topped with shaved parmesean.  Have had this before and it's great.  Perhaps I'll ask for dsg on the side, though they keep it very light.  The one thing in the world I don't overuse is salad dressing.  When I get it on the side, I use about a tsp. of the offered amount as I hate WET salad...or
2 b - Baby Mixed Field Greens with Tomatoes tossed in Oil and Balsamic Vinaigrette with Gulf Shrimp with White Beans.  Have had this many times and it's great.  I always get dsg on the side with this, and this salad has a bit of protein. I get plenty of protein each day, aiming for 60-70 gms at least.  I know I can eat sufficient protein before going out to accomodate if I get the arugula salad over the one with shrimp and white beans.

So it'll #1 plus 2a or 2b. I'm nervous because I know I can't totally estimate calories for these given the marinade for the portobella, etc, and I really want to stay in my calorie budget.  How silly is it to angst over this?  But I know myself all too well and don't want to say "F it" at some point and eat whatever isn't nailed down.  Basically I've not been very trustworthy in that way.  Harumph.

Also on my mind is that I've been feeling sad about something and haven't talked about it here.  It's no big deal, but given my penchant for emotional eating, maybe I need to talk about stuff more, rather than stuff the stuff with foodstuff.  For Thanksgiving this year, we are only going to have hubby, Stephen - my oldest son, and me.  Youngest son Mark (who was in Argentina last TG when Stephen was living in Chicago) is not able to come home from Atlanta because he has a presentation to do in a class the Wednesday afternoon (day before) next week.  Plus, he's coming home for 5 weeks in early December, so it's dumb to pay for 2 flights.  But I'd pay happily to see him.  Of course our daughter Jean is in the DR with Peace Corps, and can't come for TG and this year isn't coming for Christmas either.  It's fine - no big deal, and I could conjur up a houseful of folks to invite if I wanna.  But I don't wanna.  I just want the five of us to be together, and as I type this I'm getting boo hoo-ey.  A couple of my friends have invited us which is lovely, but I want to be 100% comfortable in our home.  At least I won't have to clean. 

There are people getting ready to face the first set of winter holidays since the passing of a loved one.  Or who are very ill - or unable to pay for the fixings for a holiday meal.  Countless much bigger issues than this.  But your feelings are your feelings, and I'm a little sad about this.  Probably moreso because I'm reminded of my very quiet only-child holidays with just my mom and neighbor after my father died.  Who knows...  One thing for sure, it isn't worth overeating over, and I hope to not do so.


  1. Italian restaurant.. Yumm.. Pellegrino with a slice of Orange as an appetizer. Then have the salad of choice with 2 Tablespoons of any dressing you want... That is all and an espresso... Yummmy...

  2. Sounds like wise choices for the restaurant ! The holidays are going to be very odd for us as well. Family drama has elevated to a dangerous level and I have chosen to avoid the whole gang in favor of safety, security and sanity.Intellectually it is the wise thing to do, but emotionally it is like facing a massive death. I am trying to create something for our small family of three that will be fun, memorable for my son and healthy- as well as being drama free. I keep reminding myself that everything in life has a starting point, and this is simply another of those.

  3. You're right. Your feelings are your feelings and you are allowed to be sad! I relate. I won't have all my kids this Thansgiving either :(

    Well, we just have to focus on what we CAN control. Hugs to you.

  4. Of course you are allowed to feel that way! My daughter didn't come home for Thanksgiving one year after she'd moved away and I wanted to cancel the day altogether. Maybe just try to focus that he WILL be home for five whole weeks very shortly! Yay!

    Enjoy your time out with your friends. The food sounds delish.

  5. Oh again we are in sync. I was just writing my Friday post and talked about my upcoming dinner out. I am having trouble choosing a restaurant with a tasty but healthy option for me while yummy stuff for the other people. And, I get the Thanksgiving thing. I will at least have both boys here. But for years we went back east and spent it with tons of family and I miss that.

  6. Your feelings are always worth validating. I try not to compare mine to the rest of the world's....starving children, people with cancer, etc...no matter what we're each going through, it's ALL important...and big to each one of us. I'm glad you put this out there. Sorry the 2 youngin's won't make it home this year. I guess I would say be thankful for the one that's able to be there. :)

  7. Oh Leslie, you brought tears to my eyes!

    Enjoy the dinner - enjoy the relationships...have a blast :)

  8. My daughter won't be here with us for Thanksgiving either. I was thinking about not cooking a big dinner, go easy with something simple and then maybe go to a movie instead of staying home and doing nothing!

    She is coming home from Spain for Christmas so I can't be too sad about T Day!

    Stop by my blog Leslie, I am having a free cheese giveaway!

  9. Ohhh. The empty next thing can be sad. I was always good about them leaving--like you, I really did have a life. But there are times, like the holidays, that hurt the heart.

    How good, tho, that the reasons that they're away from your table are good reasons.

    Maybe you could add a few lines in Notey about your feelings right now.

    speaking of Notey, that is the one thing that's hard for me with cal counting--the inability to now EXACTLY what the calories are. I can get real obsessed and stupid about that sometimes.

    There's this peculiar thing in my brain that says since I don't know EXACTLY what I'm eatint, and therefore may unknowingly go over, I've already blown it--so EAT!!! S'up with that? Afterwards, I realize how stupid I was because by then it was quite clear that I blew it when before, at worse, I would have been close.

    shrug. You'll beat it! Sometimes good enough is good enough, you know? This is one of those times.


  10. The holidays are bittersweet, aren't they? For our family, every couple of years we're missing someone (my husband's grandparents), but it's exchanged with newcomers (our children). This time of the year brings out so many past memories, but it's also a time to make new ones :). Hang in there, celebrate the family you have near and far, and remember that it's Thanksgiving DAY not Thanksgiving WEEK.