Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Surprise glimpse in the rear view mirror

I had no intention of going so long between posting!  I've been doing pretty well with eating - I've been trying to start investigating and incorporating the Paleo principles with my food, and so far I think it will be a plan that will work well for me.  I'm probably going to break down and buy the book The Paleo Solution by Robb Wolf and Loren Cordain, as it seems to be one of the main texts about the program and all its minutiae (which I love - the science behind it all).

Before I go further, I want to note that my weight was 210.2 on Sunday, which was 0.8 lb loss - pretty minimal, but so much better than a gain.  I suspect that I had lost a little more until Friday night and Saturday, when I had 2 parties to go to and just plain overate a lot of crap.  And sugar, which is crack crap for me.  Saturday night was a 45th birthday party for an AA friend, and besides tons of great "real food" like meatballs, veggies and dip, guacamole (which could have been used by moi as dip for the veggies, but of course I chose the blue corn chips instead), they also had about 5 unbelievable desserts.  Don't ask.  And yes, I know better.  I wanted to taste it all more than I wanted to stay on plan.  I've been back on track to the letter since Monday and my head is finally clearing up from the sugar haze I was for a couple of days. 

When I string a few on-plan days together, it amazes me how much I think of food and realize how food plays a role in so much of what I do.  I've said it before and will likely say it again - it's easy to stay on plan when my mind isn't in a food obsessing state.  Once I stay on plan a few days, it's like every cell in my body is saying, "WTF?  What's going on?", and they collectively start sending my brain messages that a binge would be 'just the thing'.  Yeah - Just the thing to skyrocket my blood sugar, thicken my already slab-thick middle, etc...  I guess I'm mentioning this because now that I have 2 clean days logged, I'm expecting that later today (the witching hour for me is often when I get home from work) the food thoughts will start swarming.

BUT - if I anticipate that and expect it, perhaps I can circumvent it with exercise, doing some stuff in the house that needs to be done, and NOT turning on the stupid TV.  I'm really seeing how I mindlessly turn on the tv and half pay attention in the same way I mindlessly eat.  In AA they talk about "people, places and things" and how certain familiar and repetitive acts can actually trigger our addiction.  I really see it with food and tv, so I'm trying to substantially cut it out. 

TV is tricky for me, because when I was a little kid and my dad was sick and dying for a couple of years and my mom was a mess in ways too numerous to mention, TV became a soothing balm where I could see how "real families" (haha - seemed real to my little self) lived.  Like Leave It To Beaver, where there were 2 healthy and whole parents, more than one lonely kid...I swear it was a panacea for me to sit in front of the boob tube and see that there were families that weren't like what felt like my pathetic little grouping. 

Whoa - where did that come from?  Just bubbled up and I guess I'll leave it there, because it's honest and something I'm increasingly aware plays a role in my dysfunctional eating.  A look back that I wasn't aware was coming!

So - I was going to talk more about my early forays into Paleo, and show a cookbook I checked out of the library that has great Paleo recipes, but I've gone on enough for now.  I'm in this for the long haul, and I'm so grateful to have the blog world and so many inspirational "friends" to continue to inspire and motivate me.  And I'm committing to a post tomorrow, because if I commit, I'll do it.  I need to stay accountable. 


  1. Just wanted to say I enjoy reading your blog, I'm struggling with my own food demons, and it's always so comforting to know that I'm never alone.

  2. not saying you should do this,
    I am just saying I identify
    with what you are saying about
    the TV/food relationship
    and this what I did to break it/to teach myself not to eat in front of the TV:
    one whole school year I only watched TV on the treadmill at the gym.

    Now I do watch TV in the evening.

    I only watch what I have recorded on the DVR so I watch NO commercials of any kind and do not channel surf.

  3. One thing the Paleo diet will do for you, for sure, is break your desire for sugar. Sometimes at the beginning, I wasn't even hungry but knew I needed to eat. I'm sure my calories were really low on those days but of course I have plenty of fat that needs to burn off so it didn't hurt me a bit :D

    I chose the book, The Paleo Diet Solution by Robb Wolf because from my research people said it was easier and friendlier to read than Cordain's book. I found it to be interesting and entertaining and it has menu ideas in it too. Of course there are also tons of other resources and websites out there as well, especially for food ideas.

    Please do email me any questions you have - at all!

  4. I'm going to read more about the 17-day diet. Not sure I'll do it... just curious after the success of blog friends. I had some horrible eating of my own and it is so odd how the carbs and sugar seem to grab hold. TV - yep, me too. But even worse for me now is reading. If I'm in my favorite position which is lying on the couch. If I sit in a chair I can drink tea instead of snacking. In theory. So, a wiser woman would stop lying on the couch with a book! Seems so simple.

    I'll be curious to see what you think of paleo. Seems to have a lot of fans in the blog world. Must be something too it:)

  5. What an interesting little peek into your childhood. You should do that more's good therapy. :) I'm curious about the Paleo thing since I've never checked into it. Looking forward to your next post. :)

  6. Yes, family stuff...pops up at the oddest times, doesn't it?

    I checked out Paleo and, in fact, my health plan that I have listed under the Health dog on my sidebar, is pretty close. I chose not to be freakishly extreme. :)

    Fact is, there are several different variations of paleao. some allow dairy, some don't. some allow fruit, some don't. I, too liked Robb Wolf and I also liked the Primal diet, which is in the Paleo camp, but a bit different.

    You really can get a good bit of info from the various websites and many send out free e-newsletters. Apart from some of the "too weird to follow" bits (Like I am seriously NOT making my own ketchup and mayo. I mean, how much of that do I really eat? sh.), it really is a very healthy way to eat.

    Rock on, girlfriend.


  7. Good insight Leslie! Helen had great success with the Paleo diet. I chose the 17 Day Diet and it is working really well for me. Day 3 I did want carbs but it passed and I posted today about the changes in my cravings and my energy level. I am loving this food plan!

    Prayers and good wishes to you as you find the right food plan. :)

  8. I'm doing South Beach, which isn't paleo but certainly does restrict sugar. Give yourself the gift of NO SUGAR. I couldn't imagine life without it. It's been a month now and I have so much more energy and am much more centered. Not perfect, by any means, but for a sugar addict like me, it's pretty sweet!

    One little trick I use is to tell myself I can have _________ later. There will always be more ________. It's really helpful when I"m face-to-face with That Which Must Not Be Eaten.

  9. Hi Leslie! Just wanted you to know I'm still hanging around & want to encourage you!! :)

  10. It is amazing how the depths of our minds work!

    I'm glad you are back and investigating Paleo. Even if you decide it's not for you, learning about anything new is never a waste of time or energy.

    Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and if you plan to follow it.

  11. IMHO, Paleo (even primal) is just about eating "REAL" food!
    It's amazing! As are you - hope you love it as much as I do!