Friday, March 5, 2010

Back to weight loss blogging

It's now 1 week since my surgery. I had my post op visit yesterday and was pronounced "doing great". My doctor is leaving it up to me when I go back to work, but I'm tentatively planning on returning Monday March 22. That's 2 more full weeks off (3 full weeks post op), and given how I'm feeling now that will be enough. If I have any doubt (or twinges or persistent areas of discomfort) I will postpone longer. For this time off, I'm using all my accrued vacation, sick and personal time, so if I go beyond that, I probably will have used all the time up and won't be getting paid, which would be very difficult for us.

The knee does feel pretty good, though there are a couple of places that protest when I move a certain way, and it's still difficult to sleep for more than an hour and a half, because I'll wake up with the knee achy and needing to be repositioned. I'm becoming the pillow queen; using all shapes and sizes for propping, leaning against and stuffing spaces in order to keep the knee fully supported. I go back to sleep pretty easily most of the time, unlike the other night when I just seemed to toss and turn.

So - the weight loss thing. I've mentioned that I've been eating pretty liberally this week. Today I had the nerve to get on the scale, knowing full well that my retaining water from surgery, sodium, and not drinking enough of it each day. I've had at least one meal out each day this week. All that is over. The scale said 206.8 this morning. I knew it would be bad - feared worse actually. But I'm glad I faced the music, because knowing the number will effectively STOP my eating out and continued bad habits and relaxing all my healthful practices. I didn't want to post this weight, but so many others of you are honest about backslides, and that gives me courage to do the same.

I feel like a broken record and know I can pull the needle of the rut anytime. This is my highest weight since early August, I think. After my first surgery in December (followed immediately by the eatin' season)I gained 7 pounds that I've really never lost. Been up and down 3 lbs or so either direction, but I've stayed around 198-199. This pattern I'm playing out is the newest in a lifetime series of weight loss morphing weight gain. Prior to last June when I started this for the last time, it would be now that I would absolutely give it up and just put the scale away and carry on with my self destructive eating.

Not this time. I'm not giving up, not quitting, and not caving in. I AM going to begin today (already have) with the food plan I was using before, that was about 1600 cals a day. Obviously the exercise will have to come slowly, but I can move my upper body just fine, and walk in the therapy pool at my gym.

But my thinking has to change. Earlier I was telling a friend at my meeting about the scale travesty and how I wanted to begin back at the gym in a VERY modified pattern, ala the physical therapy regimen I did after the left knee scope. I began doing 5 minutes of NO resistance on a stationary bike daily. I added 2 minutes every other day, and was told NO resistance at all until I was 4 weeks post op. Well, I began using resitance immediately at 4 weeks and built up daily, which I knew was wrong but I wanted to get back in gear. And this was the beginning of my R knee pain. So that can't happen this time. Plus, I said to my friend that it almost didn't seem worth going into the gym for just 5 minutes on a bike. WRONG! It is worth it, and I'm worth it. Parking is free. It will be 5 minutes of gentle controlled movement I'm not doing now. I will start next week getting into the therapy pool for walking ONLY Sunday or Monday, and if I have any pain I'll stop.

That's my story and I'm sticking with it. I wish my story was 192 pounds and ready to plunge into the next decade down. I was there in November and haven't returned since. I'm really ready.

Finally, I have to confess that it is so hard for me to not give you a laundry list of all the legitimate reasons (read excuses) I'm where I am today. But that's more BS'ing than I can muster today. Talk's cheap - esp. virtual talk. I want to join the winners, not the gainers, or even the maintainers who have a long way to go. At least I was holding there for awhile. But it's closing in on me and intervention is needed now. Wish me luck.

13 comments:

  1. Forget the excuses - they're more for your benefit, not ours. We all know why we have days/weeks like this... Apart from a couple of 'good' weeks this year, the rest have been mediocre/bad. Let's get back on with this together! :o)

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  2. Sorry, I meant to say "Apart from a couple of 'good' weeks this year, the rest of MINE have been bad"... Reading it back, it looks like I was having a go at you! *horrified!*

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  3. Way to get back on track. Take the small steps to get back on and keep with it!

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  4. you can do this!!!!!
    hugs

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  5. You are doing great at taking care of yourself properly, as you become more active that will spill over into exercise and it sounds like the scale has helped you reassess eating for now too... I think you are just great! baby steps Leslie, baby steps

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  6. Weight loss is tough. You're tougher. I don't know why it comes off sooooo slowly and can WHAM back on in a few days. Not fair, but there it is. Onward and forward, girlfriend--you going to get this done! Deb

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  7. You can totally do it. :)

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  8. Something to remember regarding exercise: ALL MOVEMENT IS EXERCISE...ALL. You don't have to move in s special manner to call it exercise.

    You're a tough cookie, not saying nothing ever affects you, just saying "you can make it" - I'm rootin' for you!

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  9. You are right when you said your thinking must change. And it sounds like it HAS.

    You are also right... talk is cheap. But you are adding ACTION to your talk... so next week can be one you will feel excited to be reporting on. I applaud your self-honesty.
    Loretta
    =^..^=

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  10. Leslie.

    Good work figuring out what is going on. You can do abs one day and arms' back the next. If that's not too much walking around.

    You're incredible. Two surgeries, two recoveries. I would have done worse given my history. Thinking good thoughts of you!

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  11. Well, as the old saying goes, pardon my Portuguese, shit happens. Live and learn. You'll get there. I haven't a doubt in my mind! And it will be all the sweeter when you do!

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  12. Just discovered your blog! I'm really enjoying it - if you get a chance check out mine - www.fatbutchanging.blogspot.com

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