Kickin' back a bit

For about 5 days each spring, my clematis vine is at peak with a mix of open and opening blooms. Thought I'd share a couple of pics of it:


I had every intention of posting yesterday, but ended up having a crazy busy day at work that included a 911 call and other assorted dramas, followed by coffee with a friend, and then a pre-dinner nap! I feel totally out of the blogging loop and as I'm wide awake here at 4 a.m., why not jump back in the mix right now??!! Actually I've been awake since 3:30, but watched an episode of Frasier (one of my all time favorite t.v. shows) before deciding that I'm done sleeping for the night. So the washer is washing, eggs are hard-boiling, and I'm typing.

My weekend was really nice. Saturday I went to Avalon with 3 of my AA buddies for the one day retreat I mentioned last week. We left my house at 6:30 a.m. and were on the beach by 8:30. Saturday was possibly the most beautiful beach day I've ever had at the Jersey Shore. (I'm a beach snob, having grown up just south of Clearwater Beach in Florida, where there is real white sand and shells, but this site was as close to beach perfection as I've experienced!) The sky was impossibly blue and cloudless, the surf lively to watch, listen to, and be hypnotized by, and the air was dry and warm with a breeze that literally caressed the skin. I definitely need more beach in my life.

But I've digressed...the retreat was going to be 2 morning meetings on the beach, followed by a "covered dish" lunch at a local auditorium and then 3 afternoon meetings in the auditorium. Each meeting consisted of an average alcoholic gal talking about a topic for 15-20 minutes, and then sharing about the talk and the topic for an hour. The 2 meetings on the beach at 9 and the 10:30 were good, but as the group broke up to head on to the next venue, the 4 of us looked at each other and decided we were going to stay and enjoy the rest of the day at our leisure. 2 of the gals wanted to just stay and bake in the sun for awhile, and another gal and I were ready to get out of the sun for a bit. We went and got a burger at a local beach place, then found a place to buy tee and sweat shirts, then back to walk about 4 miles on the beach. It was just glorious to take our time and have no agenda. We left for home around 4 and had as much fun in the car as we did on the beach!

Sunday was another day where I suspended a lot of my usual agenda of frantic "busyness" in order to just chill (not easy as it was 91 degrees and humid!). I did some gardening and just about melted into a pool of sweat; then showered and spent the rest of the day reading, watching a stupid Lifetime movie and cooking dinner. I made a Molly Katzen recipe of pasta, greens and feta that is yummy. I healthed it up a bit by using WW pasta and have to say I like this recipe with traditional pasta better! If your interested in the easy recipe, let me know and I'll post it.

I tend to be an activity junkie, booking my non-work time into sequential chunks of "doing stuff". There is a Buddhist philosophy that counters my mentality of "don't just sit there...do something", with "don't just do something, sit there." I'm really trying to settle myself more. My chronic running around is yet another way I can not feel feelings or have any true gauge of where my heart is in the moment. It's similar to eating beyond what is necessary for nutrition. The cultivation of peace and quiet time is a challenge for one who has habitually run from herself for most of her life - often without a clue of what I was doing. And the crazy thing is I don't have much to run away from now...my life is great and has done a basic 180 over the course of my 18+ years of sobriety. I really believe that striving for more quiet and meditative time, even if just for 15-20 minutes a day, will also help with my eating.

Hubby is leaving today to drive to Georgia to pick up our youngest son from school and bring him home for the summer. I can't wait to have Mark home...this is basically his last summer "off" as he'll be a senior next year! Hard to believe the baby is one year away from college graduation. He's a great kid and wonderful to have around. He and I spar constantly and all in the effort of making the other laugh. The household will be noisier and messier, and I'm thrilled. Our other son who's living in Chicago is hoping to get home for a week while his brother is here. I love when the next fills back up, even if only partway. It may get in the way of my cultivation of peace and quiet, but with as late as they sleep, I can always find time before noon!

Here's to a day of clean eating, exercise and balance. That's not too much to ask for!