Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Patience

Staci is doing a giveaway! As my entry into her tempting giveaway, I'm linking to her Weight Loss Mama blog post about it. Check it out you'll see what a good friend she is as she seeks to gather support for a good friend of hers who is starting a weight loss journey and a new blog.

Now onto all things Leslie! That is, afterall, what I'm all about! Kidding - but it's nice to know that while I may be the boss of virtually nothing, I am the boss of my blog! All me, all the time. Enough to make one nauseous! (Exclamation point overusage alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Alright, enough silliness. I'm going to have to ask myself to leave if I don't knock it off.

I had the excellent day I yesterday I INTENDED to have - clean food, positive attitude, and then a great night of sleep. I was blessed with no binge thoughts or non-binge-but-still-something-to-eat might-be-nice thoughts, which obviously helped. Not sure how, but I knew from the instant I woke up it was going to be that way. Thank you universe for the reprieve.

I know full well it won't stay that way, especially in the earliest days of abstaining from extra chow, and that is where my inspiration for today's post comes from. After just one solid clean fantastic day, I woke this morning ready for another; ready to blast off the pounds fast, furiously, finally and forever. BRING. IT. ON. The mind calculating, conniving and bargaining calorie adjustments, exercise, the gym, pool and how fast I can get back to 192.2, my lowest weight since last June. Blessedly the universe gently poked ITS presence into my schemes, reminding me of something that has flummoxed me time and again on this journey - my basic lack of PATIENCE.

Wikipedia was this morning's source of my favorite definition of patience: a state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation WITHOUT acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way. It then lists 2 antonyms (opposites) for patience: hastiness and impetuousness. This definition fits perfectly into my musings.

It's happened a kajillion times...I'm motivated, doing great, and I start jumping on the scale every single morning. Steady progress. Then a plateau, or just an absence of loss on a day where the royal moi thinks there should be loss, or at least more than is registering on the Scale Almighty. Or it is just too damn slow! I want this by next Tuesday, damnit!!! And my annoyance/anger/disappointment/hastiness/impetuousness (note clever insertion of aforementioned antonyms) leads me to eat a little more, or have some crazy junk food that day. Decide to hold down the couch rather than hit the gym. Whatever. Me no get my way, me will act out and screw one person's efforts only - mine.

Perseverence in the face of delay (slow but steady progress) or provocation (things not going the way I think they should) is patience. I've been impatient always. As part of my intention to lose this weight, I am striving for more patience, recognizing it's an essential component to a sustainable, satisfying and healthy weight loss. The rewards will be great, probably beyond my wildest dreams. The path will be marked with some frustrations, pain, and disappointments, but as long as these struggles are taken just in the context of the moment and not as an excuse to chuck all my efforts because "it's too hard", I will be successful. And cultivating patience will help more areas of my life than weightloss!

Anyone who has read my blog knows I'm an addict - a food addict, but also a recovering alcoholic. Recovery from addiction is sloo-o-o-ow and there is this notion called "Delayed gratification" that addicts notoriously possess either little or none of. The rewards of sobriety have been multitudinous - and ever so slow and gradual to unfold. In fact, they are still appearing on a regular basis. Rewards I couldn't have imagined. They say that if you wrote a script for how your sober life would evolve, you'd shortchange yourself, because you can't imagine how things can change and be different. Inside and out. Subtly and OUT LOUD.

I know it will be the same when I lose the weight I intend to lose. We hear it from the power bloggers who've met their goals and are maintaining. And still giving back because what they've found in their freedom from obesity and compulive eating is so amazing they need to share it. I'm that way with my sobriety, and I know I'll be that way when I lose the weight.

11 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for the support and the linky love :)

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  2. I love all things Leslie!

    You know this made me think of what I have to do when I run a marathon. At some point, in every single marathon I've run, my left brain takes over and points out all the pain my body is in. It keeps telling me to quit, that I can't do it, that I can't handle it.

    Find your mantra until you can find your patience.
    Before my first I read a book by Jeff Galloway where he talks about this phenomena and he said in all his years of running the only way he found to deal with that was to have something to say back to the left brain that was louder than what was being said. In other words, come up with a mantra that you start repeating over and over until you drown that negativity out.

    I thought it was sort of dumb but I decided I'd say "Just Keep Running" as mine - if I needed, which I was sure I wouldn't!

    I'll be damned if at mile 18 that left brain didn't kick in and just about kick my butt too. So I started saying Just Keep Running with my breaths. Eventually it became the only thing I could think and it did indeed stop the quitting thoughts.

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  3. Just keep swimming. :)

    You so inspire me and at the same time frustrate me because I can see it's so hard to just put your suit on.

    I understand AND I ACHE because I know how that feels....literally PANIC attacks for weeks before I went to the pool the first time. I even posted about it to gather support in a community I had taken part in for years.

    Just put it on at home. Try the goggles and the neato cap on in the mirror or dare to take a pic. Take your suit with you. Just go look at the darn pool and think about how it feels... Change in the handicap bathroom stall if you need more privacy.... but then take it easy if you choose to get in.

    You know it will feel better than in winter. You know you are ready physically.
    You go do that next time you wanna make a poor choice please....?

    can you tell I have no patience? :)

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  4. You just reminded me of something. You said you were blessed with no bingey thoughts. It is a blessing and I need to ASK for that. D'oh. Thanks Leslie.

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  5. I suffer from impatience as well, Leslie, and that has also been my downfall in all my attempts to reach goal. I'm trying to turn that around this time.
    I can't think too far ahead nor can I compare my journey/body/accomplishments with anyone else's. When I do, I manage to find too many flaws and come up short.

    I'm very happy you had the excellent day of your making!

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  6. Ah yes, patience. The thing that prevents most people from achieving success, no matter what the definition.

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  7. Yeah...patience...that ONE virtue that has escaped me my entire life, lol. When you find yours, would you mind sharing a teeny little bit with me?? ;)

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  8. this is, hands down, one of the best posts I have ever read.

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  9. Good stuff! Grab that positive feeling with both hands and don't let go. :o) Patience is my downfall - why the bloody hell CAN'T I lose 100lbs in 3 months?!? No fair! lol

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  10. Really good post Leslie. You have all that it takes to be a success and achieve your goals. I think of what Dr Phil talks about with his BE Do HAVE approach.

    BE Committed
    Do What It Takes
    Have What You Want

    Wishing you well as you move forward with patience and a plan!

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  11. Leslie - loved this post! I tend to be a bit impatient too and in the past have sabatoged myself when I thought the scale should say something different.

    Hope you have another great day today!

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