Anyway, this morning I did my usual practice of just opening the book to a page and seeing what jumps out as my edification for the day, and I read this (which btw is uncited):
"To know men is to be wise, to know oneself is to be illuminated.
To conquer men is to have strength, to conquer onself is to be strong still.
And to know when you have enough is to be rich."
I really like that saying, especially the part about how knowing when one has enough rendering her/him rich. It reminds me of yet another saying I first heard in AA, "Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have". So true. And linked inextricably to the concept of having enough to be whole, healthy, content and able to be of service to others in the course of just one day. I really don't have to get too tangled up about tomorrow and beyond, though planning, intention and goal setting give direction and focus for my activities in today.
This morning I was thinking about how the holiday weekend is upon us, and how I have an overall sense of deep contentment about the possibilities for activities, projects and connections with family and friends for the next 3 days. Yet I was aware of vague stirrings of angst that I couldn't immediately identify. What has risen to awareness is that I'm thinking about the food ops that the holiday weekend will bring, and feeling nervous and in turmoil over wanting to stay true to my plan and fearing temptations that will invariably present over the course of the 3 days. I think material from the book I've talked about this week, Life Without Ed, is percolating at a subconscious level and bringing me some insights and awarenesses that I might not otherwise be getting.
What I've come to see is that though I can talk the talk about trusting I have "enough" of all I need to sustain health, wholeness and availability for others for today (see 4th paragraph of this post), I'm not really walking the walk when I'm feeling churned up over "how will I ever be able to adhere to my food and exercise plan for the holiday weekend?"! Interesting that the left hand does not necessarily know what the right hand is up to, or the left brain aware of the right brain's cogitations. Such a head trip this journey continues to be! My intention for today is to follow my food plan and exercise. I'll deal with tomorrow when it becomes today.
Not much more from me today...I had a better food day yesterday, though not exactly to the letter of my plan. Less after dinner munching, and munching much healthier...fruit and low fat graham crackers. In moderation. I think the food plan needs to be modified to accomodate my after dinner desire to eat something...ANYTHING. Maybe I'll look at that over the weekend.
A new Farmers' Market opened in a local town yesterday, and I got 2 quarts of fantastic locally grown strawberries. They are solid red throughout, juicy and sweet, and really with no hulls
Aren't they gorgeous? I also got some cut up watermelon and pineapple and had a fruit snack when I got home from work, and then another after dinner. I haven't had REAL strawberries since last summer! We get the California ones that are shipped across the country that look perfect and beautiful but are like white tasteless styrofoam inside. I'm sure they are good when they are local...in California! But not here in PA after they've been trucked in regrigerated containers. Summer fruit is a little piece of Heaven!
This is my home-from-college son getting ready to go to work at the deli...isn't he a cutie? After I snapped his picture, he practically wrestled me to the ground for the camera, saying he didn't want me using his picture for my evil purposes! Haha, my evil purpose is show him off! He's a wonderful kid with a great heart, and a sense of humor that keeps us laughing. It still blows my mind that 2 of my babies now sport beards! And no, my daughter isn't the other one!
That's it for me. I'm going to try and stay at least partially connected to blogsville over the weekend. Everyone have a safe and happy time.