This morning at work I experienced an interesting little take on my eating behavior. I'd had a nice 7 point breakfast of a breakfast sandwich of Canadian bacon, 1 slice of red. fat swiss cheese and a quarter cup of Eggbeaters cooked with a bit of onion on a mustard spread 2 point English muffin. Very satisfying - very yummy (the plain ole yellow mustard and sauteed onion makes it). About 2 hours later I had 2 clementines, which are zero points on WW (as is ALL fruit). The clementines tasted like sweet freshness cubed - utter delight exponentially magnified by their absence of points.
Well. An hour later I came back into my office and eyed 3 more clementines, an apple and a banana I brought to have on hand for legitimate empty stomach hunger based snack attacks. I plopped into my chair and grabbed a clementine, poised my right hand to begin the big peel, when a voice sounded in my consciousness, "Do you really need that?" What? Shut up. Here is the dialogue that ensued (silently - not talking out loud with myself here):
Me: "Well, maybe I don't need it, but I can have it."
TV (the voice): "If you don't need it, why would you have it?"
Me: "It's ZERO points, for Heaven's sake. I CAN HAVE IT.
TV: "Are you hungry?"
Me: "I SAID it's ZERO points!"
TV: "But are you hungry right now? It's 11:30 and you'll be eating lunch around 12:45."
ME: "No, I'm not hungry. But zero points...I can have as much fruit as I want for NO POINTS."
TV: "You know in Blogdom they say that overeating healthy food is still overeating."
ME: "If Blogdom told me to jump off the Empire State Building, should I do it? What don't you get about zero points"?
TV: "What don't YOU get about the fact that eating when you're NOT hungry is addictive eating? It's NOT intuitive. Not mindful. Not necessary.
Me: Okaaaaay - and NOT happening. For now.
And so the clementine was returned to the fruit stash, unpeeled, uneaten.
I clearly just wanted to put food in my mouth. I wasn't hungry, I wasn't even upset or emotional in any recognizable way. I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it NOW. I think that little vignette may have been a baby step of progress.
This is one of the hardest parts of weight loss, I think - figuring out eating out of hunger and not boredom. You're doing a great job!
ReplyDeleteMost definitely. Just the fact that you took the time to have the conversation is progress! Good doing my friend.
ReplyDelete:) I've had that same conversation. Sometimes I win, sometimes habit wins.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest trouble (I can't even imagine the havoc free fruit would casue me!) is when I have calories left after dinner. I mean CALOROES HAVE BEEN UNEATEN!!! Can't have that.
And I come to the same conclusion as you did--food addiction dies hard and is sneaky.
Deb
Eating as a hobby. I think I do that at different phases of my life. Thanks for being honest about it.
ReplyDeleteI love it. When you can actually stop yourself before you act - mindlessly. I used to think I could never do that, but the more I pay attention, live in the moment, the more I am learning about me and my habits. Great post.
ReplyDeleteAh, the sacred pause. That's when progress is happening - as you and others said - when you pause to THINK about what you are doing. Exposing internal logic to external logic. Good job!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. Your baby step sounds like a giant step to me. We really need to pay attention to what our bodies are telling us. Last night, I had planned to have a nice chewy bagel filled with a few thin strips of a steak and onion mixture. As I was preparing it, I realized that it looked like way too much food for how I felt. So I only made half a bagel sandwich -- it was delicious -- but it filled me completely and I was very happy that I had saved a couple of hundred calories.
ReplyDeleteLove your story! Here is what I tell myself: fruit is only 0 points when I am hungry. Sort of like, you only get the sale price during the sale.
ReplyDeleteThe scale I a getting is here: http://tinyurl.com/4csqyjm
I am totally going by the recommendation of somebody on the WW boards.
Zero points is zero points, go for the fruit! :) Cheers, Rick
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I probably told you that whole zero points for fruit thing worried me. I can absolutely overeat even healthy stuff. I agree - overeating is overeating. My goal would be to not eat if I'm not physically hungry. That is hard for me! I am pretty sure the WW leader told me, when I commented about fruit on my way out the door, that the theory is to eat it when hungry. So, it is really on zero points some of the time?
ReplyDeleteKudos to you!
I know exactly what you're talking about. I have issues with the same kind of mindless eating, and I agree that it doesn't matter if the food in question is zero points. What a great point you made--and very relevant to the weight loss struggles of so many of us. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteGood job! Learning to use food as fuel and not something else is a hard one! Go Leslie :)
ReplyDeleteI have the same conversation about fruit being zero points and that I can eat 50 bananas if I want. You are right, just because it is zero points doesn't give you the go ahead to stuff your face. Good for you for putting it back!
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed. I've had similar conversations with myself and usually lose to my inner two-year-old. Good on ya for talking through it!
ReplyDeleteWow that is a huge step! And yes TV was right-I ate ALOT of the right foods for years and got up to 245, so...
ReplyDeletePolar's Mom
www.polarspage.blogspot.com
I disagree with the zero points thing. A banana has 100 calories, an orange maybe 50. So if you ate one banana and two oranges you had 200 calories not zero calories. A calorie is a calorie is a calories!
ReplyDeleteGood for you for passing on it when you weren't really hungry.
I find myself doing the same thing - still I don't think anyone gets fat eating fruit! :D
ReplyDeleteThanks for all your well wishes Leslie! :D
That IS progress... Once I've picked something up and decided to eat it (healthy or not) I can't remember a time when I've stopped myself and put it back down again... Well done!
ReplyDelete