Good news/bad news

Last night when I wrote the fast post about eating the reuben that was excrutiatingly disappointing (if it had been wonderful, it would have been an okay splurge, but as it was lousy, it was unnecessary calories and fat), I totally forgot to mention something interesting that happened at the AA meeting attended after dinner. It was a women's meeting, and when all was said and done, there must have been almost 50 females present. It's not a meeting I ever attend (just went a few times 18 years ago!) because I generally don't like women's meetings as they can get a tad whiny, and this one is an hour and a half - that's a lot of whine time. I knew a lot of the people from other meetings over the years, so it was great to catch up with some folks.


Just as the meeting was starting, a tall lean gal walked in who looked familiar, and I was pretty sure I knew who she was, but didn't have a chance to chat until the break at half time. She approached me looking all wide-eyed and smiling, saying, "Oh my God - you look great! You've lost a ton of weight!" Well, it's nice to hear someone who hasn't seen me in a long time notice my weight loss (and bodes well for my Atlanta trip to the family wedding in March!), but one can't help but wonder just how awfully fat I looked before! Plus, I've lost at most 28-30 pounds since she saw me - definitely not "a ton". And plus plus - I still have a good 30-35 pounds to go to get to my goal of 160-165. I am in all regular sizes now (though large ones, like 16s and one pair of 14 pants), but I don't look like a wisp of a thing for sure. So good news that my weightloss is noticeable, bad news that I must have looked REALLY heavy before. Heavier than I knew or probably even felt. But the good definitely OUTWEIGHS the bad here, tee hee. (I wish I knew how to do smiley faces, frowny faces, and strike outs in blog format, but these complex skills elude me.)

Karen at Fitness: A Journey Not A Destination had an interesting post asking the question: what motivates you to be fit and healthy? She noted 2 individuals, her brother and a sick child of a friend who help keep her on track. There were some good comments - check out the post and comments here. I thought about that post last night as I was driving home and reflecting about the woman noticing my weight loss. That's a real motivator for me, in all its shallowness. I certainly want to be fit and lean so I can be around for my grown children who still need some momming at times, and for granchildren who will hopefully come along someday. I want to be able to live a nice retirement with my husband, and travel as we have long planned. I want to feel strong, energetic and vibrant, which I do at times and want more of. But I also want to look better; good even, because that will help me feel more confident in all areas of my life. I want to run into people who haven't seen me in a long time, esp. some of the Barbie moms (who had nothing going for them but cuteness, looks and being ex-cheerleaders - you know the kind who peaked in high school) I used to dread having to be with when my kids were still in grade school and have them notice and comment on how good I look. (The snide snarky part of me wants to be very cool and blase with them when this happens, too - the bitches...)Shallow? Yeah - but human, I think. And I wouldn't really be snippy with anyone...cool maybe, snippy no.


Gee, I didn't know all that was going to come forth when I started this post! I'm having a good day, and hope to get to the gym. I've been going straight from work, but today I'm going to my primary doc because I have a sinus infection and need meds. I know what I need and what he'll give me, but of course he won't do it over the phone. I understand, but it's annoying. And I've already decided that when the gal wants me to step on the scale, I'm going to say "no thanks" because I'm having a good week and will weigh on my usual day Friday. If I get on their scale and it reads high or low or whatever, it'll play with my head. Scales are powerful creatures! Anyway, if I get in and out fast, I'm going to do the gym after the doc appt.

Today my lunch has ample protein - that being more of the cottage cheese that was my rescue yesterday. But being without that midday protein for so many hours really left me vulnerable to the aforementioned Rueben, I think. Even though I had the cottage cheese after my workout, it didn't install in my system in the same way it would have with lunch. Or am I being a little nuts and making Rueben excuses? Whatever, I won't forget my protein again. And usually I keep single serving tuna packs here for that very circumstance. Need to restock the office cabinet.