Thursday, June 10, 2010

Not much

I'm going to be brief today as I have a lot to do and will be leaving work an hour early to attend the funeral for the man I wrote about on Monday.  I've been thinking of him a lot this week and feel so sad for his family.  It's almost as if a pall is resting overhead.  This man's death at age 56 (my current age) has stirred up a lot of old thoughts and feelings, and definitely fears, about death.  Losing both parents by the time I was 23 defined my life in so many ways, as did being an only child.  This summer I have a birthday that will be (assuming I see it) extremely significant personally, though not one of the big ones that end with 5 or zero.   As it  gets closer, I've already been very emotional and on-the-surface with feelings and awareness of some of my "stuff".  I've contemplated writing about it, maybe even on the blog, but it's so serious, self-disclosing and navel-gazing that I'm not sure if my blog is the right place to put it.  We'll see.

My food has been pretty good this week, and yesterday's positive scale reading boosted my momentum and determination to keep it as good as it's been and even better.  Yesterday my eating was excellent.  I made a recipe from Biz's post yesterday for Enchilada Soup, and it was really good  It was perfect because I had all the ingredients on hand.  We had salad and pita chips with it.  My husband is enjoying all the new meals I'm trying from bloggers' inspirations and ideas.  He kept asking, "where did you get this recipe?"  He knows about my blog but doesn't read it unless I tell him I wrote something extra brilliant which virtually never happens.  I don't think he really gets the whole blogging thing.  He's one of those folks who was probably born a century too late - the "new-fangled contraptions" like computers are one thing he's fine with.  But all the new methods of social networking and telecommunicating pretty much leave him in the dust.  The endless befuddlement makes him all the more lovable!

Talk about getting off on a tangent...That's why it's hard for me to be brief.  But today I gotta do it so I'm signing off.  Offical weigh in tomorrow, and I didn't get on the scale this morning.  Something (a little birdie) said not to, and I listened.  That soup was probably a little salty as I didn't have low sodium broth.  No need to get all cranky over water weight!  Have a good day before Friday.


  1. Happy Birthday early ! I know what you mean about different birthdays being big in our heads for reasons other than ending numbers. My dad had his first heart attack at age 47 ,I look exactly like him and as that birthday approached for me i was really scared.Happily I passed it in flying colors and life moves on, but till you cross that threshold, it is kind of an antsy feeling.

    Blogs- my husband also blogs, but his is about his spiritual journey. He reads all of my blogs and gets envious that I never seems to suffer from writers block( he struggles with it a lot and I cannot understand why for some reason).We have always been very open with each other, have no secrets, but still it seems that the people we are on paper are so completely different from each other that it is a wonder that we can even know each other- let alone be soul mates , best friends and married since Jesus was a child

  2. Hope all goes well today. Whatever it is that's troubling you, I strongly recommend writing it down, even if you never 'publish' it. Just getting it down is sometimes enough...

  3. Anonymous10 June, 2010

    Glad you liked the soup Leslie! My husband reads every single post - he's like my #1 fan. And since I started the blog my Mom and his folks don't call as much - they just read the blog!

    So sad, 56 is such a young age! Hugs!

  4. You crack me up. I hope you have fun!

  5. it will be 4-5 days before the sodium is out of your system so you might not want to get on the scale tomorrow either. you might want to have those type of foods (if you are eating them) the day after weigh day - since you are sensitive to what the scale says.

    glad you are having a good week.

    I was in and out of nursing homes all weekend - having much the same types of feelings as what you describe with funeral.

  6. Hope you have a good day sorry to hear about the man you passed.

    My husband reads my blog everyday and he reads the comments. I felt like it was kind of strange at first but I am getting use to it.

    It has helped me to be more open with him about my weight issues and what is going on so that has been a good thing. He understands a lot more about how hard this has been for me.

  7. I almost feel half the problem is the waiting and anticipation for the funeral or the memorial. I have had you on my heart and mind over these last days my bloggy friend. I pray that somehow you will get find comfort, peace and closure in the service and will be able to lay your friend to rest and move on.

    Cute how your husband is enjoying the food!

  8. I lost one parent when I was 23, my dad, and just that affected me deeply. So I can only imagine the impact of losing both of yours so young. I would encourage you to write about your thoughts, but do it just for yourself. If you then want to share, you can. Just the process of putting words to paper (as the old tech version would have been) might be helpful.

    My husband reads my blog every day. The good thing is he sometimes catches my typos. The bad thing is I have to watch what I say. He is obsessed with my sitemeter stats and I hardly look at them.

  9. Anonymous10 June, 2010

    I can't imagine losing parents so young...that had to be extremely painful :( may ask where I live in Fl :) I'm in Jacksonville....but was born in Ft. Myers.

    Hope your weigh in goes well tomorrow...

  10. I find that the soups I like the most have the most sodium. Can't deny the power of salt to enhance flavor. This past weekend Bobby Flay sprinkled a ton of salt on a chicken breast and declared that most cooks do not season near enough. My eyes nearly popped out. Hope his BP is normal and his kidneys are good!

    Thank you for visiting my blog today. We both keep plugging away, don't we? My husband does not know about the blog. It's really just for me.

  11. I tend to think deep thoughts when certain events (like death) happens close to me. Everything that is really important tends to become even more so.

    I have trouble writing short posts too!LOL! In my mind it starts out short-but once I start to typin' ... forget it!

    *I vote for writing it down. Write it in private if you must, but write. It helps. And, if/when the time comes you need to share, that's when you share.

  12. Did Journey Beyond Survival just say she hopes you have fun at a funeral??? that's my favorite comment ever, lol. Good luck with the weigh-in tmrw. :)

  13. That is very sad, about the friend, his family, and the loss of your parents so early in life. The funeral will be so hard for the family, they are lucky to have caring friends like you.

    Maybe you can take them some soup?

  14. Losing both parents at such a young age AND being an only child... I can see why that is significant in your life.

    I agree about writing it down being helpful, but whether or not to put it on the blog is a different story.... or an edited version. That of course, depends on whether or not you think that would help you. Either way, I agree! Cuz it's your blog, and your journey, and you need to do what it healthiest for YOU.