Friday, October 9, 2009

Friday novella in 3 chapters

Chapter 1 - Away it goes, bit by bit

Woohoo! I finally have lost 2 pounds in a week. Besides the couple indiscretions (about which I've posted here over the last week), I was pretty clean with food and consistent and rigorous with exercise. I guess this shows scientifically that bingeing every other night does impede weight loss, and refraining from said bingeing facilitates it. Interestingly, when I first stepped on the scale, I was praying for something in the 195 range, and the weight first read 193.3! I almost passed out into a naked heap of dimples and pale flesh. It was then it occurred to me to take a picture, so I had to wrap a towel round the bod, dash downstairs to find the camera and then do the scale thing one more time. Only it turned into about 6 more times because by the time I had the camera ready the weight disappeared. Then the flash totally obliterated the numbers. But the other thing is that when I returned with the camera the weight was now 193.9, and there it stayed. Somehow my cardio run down the stairs and back built enough muscle to increase my weight by 6 ounces - har har. After I got out of the shower and dried off completely, I hopped on again, like any respectable addict would, and it read 194.1. Whoa! Time to cut my losses (gains) and knock off the scale dance. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

This progress is motivating me in a way I hope will last. I'd told my husband that whatever the scale verdict was this morning, I wanted to get pizza tonight for dinner. (Me no cook on Fridays!) But now I don't want to do that. I want to try and stay the course toward my goal of 190 by November 2. It's almost intuitive that I can make that goal easily now. But as any habitual binge-er knows, I could achieve a 10 pound gain by then as well. Bearfriend said in her post yesterday that at times she really can't trust herself. Yep - me too. It's still one day at a time, and one bite at a time for me.

This morning I feel all inspired and determined, but it would take nothing for the binge activator button to switch to the on position later in the day. It happens all the time. Sometimes I can resist calmly and distract myself; other times I engage in verbal combat and staunch resistance until I'm beaten down to an exhausted pulp and just give in to stop the conflict. That's where I know that feeding that aspect of me strengthens the inner binge-er. I hope I can remember that when she appears, because she will. And I know that what gets fed gets stronger. I want to nourish my increasingly healthy and whole self who deserves better than crawling into bags of potato chips and cookies for comfort and companionship.

Chapter 2 - Totally waisted
No, I did not pick up my first drink in over 18 years and come crashing off the wagon - that would be wasted, which I've been many times in my life, to say the least. (And before I go any further, I want to say that I'm not one of those recovering alcoholics who believes that everyone who drinks, or even enjoys a good buzz every so often, has a problem. When I talk about drinking, it is mine and the problem it became about which I speak.) As usual, I've digressed, so back to the topic at hand:

My waist. My bra band size. The skin between the two.

I started this topic yesterday before my good weigh in; in light of today's weight, it's even more relevant.

For all you premenopausal women out there, hear me loud and clear. Your bodyweight and shape DO redistribute after the change'o'life. I'd heard that for years, but never thought it could happen to pear-shaped moi. It's happened, much to my chagrin. Now I'm taking on the body type of a boxy elderly woman - think Bea Arthur with should pads, only slight shorter. Of course I'm exagerating, but what brings this up again is that I have bras that are STILL the same tightness around the band that they were before I lost weight. I also have some that are totally comfortable now, but I just don't get how this is possible. My monthly measurements at the gym will be next week, but as of last month they'd decreased in the areas of which I speak by over an inch. Now the girls themselves are definitely smaller, which further adds to my annoyance at being literally bisected into upper and lower halves by these agents of Satan.

After a few more pounds come off, I'll finally go and get new ones, but the thought of that is as appealing as drinking a cup of swine flu virus. Truth be told, there are only 2 of my bra rotation of 4 that violate me in this way, and they are both the same color and style. The other 2 are the same style, but are white instead of sexy beige. Could the different colors mean the dye affected the fabric back at the factory? 'Tis a mystery I'll be glad to solve, and I'm thinking the solution may be an old fashioned bra burning, ala the Equal Rights Amendment days of the 60s and 70s. I bet the women of the world who suffer from this lingerie strangling affliction could all contribute to the biggest bonfire of the fall. Burn baby, Burn.

Chapter 3 - Halloween Frights
I'm not talking spooks and goblins here - I'm talking candy corn, mellocreme pumpkins, autumn colored foil wrapped Hershey kisses, Reese's pumpkins and so on. Right now my local grocery store has 2 aisles stacked to the ceiling with halloween candy; and to add insult to injury they have bags of Brachs Candy Corn on sale 4/$5.00. If the bras are agents of Satan, this display is The Mother Ship. And there are similar displays everywhere, as you all know. So far, not one kernal of candy corn has passed through the portal - and if I stay strong and consistent with all that is working, I will have my first candy-free Halloween in my life. I better keep it that way, because once I get started, I can't stop. That is the absolute truth. For today, I'm good. Have a great weekend!


  1. Oh, I am totally a sucker for Reese's candy ... But I have to tell you, a couple of days ago, I tried a new chicken recipe that called for 8 cloves of garlic. Well, I'd never bought garlic before, and I thought a bulb was a clove. I figured out my mistake before it went in the pan (thank goodness!), but now I have seven bulbs of garlic with absolutely nothing to do with them. I have (halfway) joked about giving out garlic in lieu of halloween candy -- it's a vegetable instead of candy, and it'll keep vampires at bay.

    Something tells me that if I did that, my house would get egged. :) Or garlicked, as the case may be.

    Way to go on the weight loss, girl! I think you're doing great!!! :D

  2. Good job on the loss Leslie! My scale variates a little like yours and I just take the lowest reading.

    Hoping you can avoid the Halloween candy. I am not a fan of candy corn so there is no tempation there for me. Think how great the 2 lb. loss feels vs. the taste of candy corn!

  3. to Jogging - I yukked out loud at your house getting garlicked. I thought you were going to say you USED all 8 bulbs of garlic!

    to KJ - actually in the scheme of things, candy corn are low on my temptation list too, but they are definitely a gateway drug!

  4. Congrats !!! You are doing great. I would have to have pizza and I made cookies last night. So I need a good kick in the behind. But you need to be rewarded for such a good job.. Good luck on the no Holloween candy . That is going to be a tough one around here. I guess buy stuff you don't like. Kids will eat anything.

  5. Hi Leslie. Hooray! Not only have you lost 2lbs but you've got skinny feet as well!

    You've found the formula that works and has enabled you to push past that barrier. Just make sure you don't weigh again until next Friday because otherwise I will have to push past my agoraphobia and pay a very expensive air fare to come and throw that scale over the proverbial cliff!

    Seriously, well done.

    As we know the inner binger can appear at any time. Your description of being worn down by it is sadly accurate. We need to find as easier way to fight this thing. Paula (of paulawannacracker) has thought about an elastic band on the wrist aversion therapy. But I think this thing would laugh in the face of a sore wrist. And I'm allergic to rubber and plastic on my skin so it's a non runner for me.

    What's needed is a powerful psychological version. The only thing I can think of is trying on the clothes which are too small for me now. That's a very negative thought.

    Our bodies inevitably change as we get older but you will lose the weight from the offending areas - just last. It will come off if you lose enough weight - and now we know you will.

    Here halloween is just a side show to the main event on 5th Nov which is Bonfire Night or Guy Fawkes Night as it's otherwise known. I have never heard of any of that "candy" and I don't want to know anything about it either! Just step away from the candy Leslie.

    Hope you're having a great day!

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

    PS re garlic - I love it! I can easily eat 7 or 8 cloves in a meal. It should be remembered though that whole garlic is much less potent than crushed garlic. It might be an idea to eat plenty of garlic with your evening meal and then you can't taste anything else for the rest of the night. Not that that stops me if the compulsion is really bad ... But it's worth a try.

  6. I'm excited for your leslie! You are very close to your goal. Have your pizza and celebrate. I'm afraid if you don't, the binge monster will come after you because you "deprived" yourself! I hope not!

    Have an awesome day!

  7. Good job on the loss! And when you get some new bras, be sure to get some that make you feel sexy. ;)

  8. I feel your pain with the Halloween candy! I bought 3 bags while the selection was still good for treaters, and my husband made a comment of "I wonder how long those will last before halloween". (In the past I have been know to open them for "just one small bar" and within a week they are all gone and I'm buying another bag). Not this year, I refuse to open a bag til the first treaters knock on the door!!! Your post had me giggling out loud a few times!

  9. bea arthur with shoulder pads - priceless :) I too am avoiding the halloween crunch! those bite sized wonders don't add the pounds in bite sizes..:)

  10. I laughed my ass off at that comment you made about a pile of naked dimples, or something to that effect, kill me. Losing those 2 lbs is just terrific...I wish I could get my shit together and have a loss 2 consecutive weeks in a row!!!! Then I might actually feel like I'm doing something right, lol. I hope you have a fantastic weekend girl! :)

  11. I LOL over the bra part of your post. You are doing super though, really!

    DH and I talked and we've decided to buy candies for Halloween that we don't like. Neither of us can eat Butterfinger bars and I HATE anything with a marshmello center-- so we will get those and avoid being tempted.

    I LOVE peanut butter cups so if we got them "for the kids" I KNOW I'd end up eating half the bag. LOL

    I love the pics you've been posting in addition to reading your blog. In the words of KC and the Sunshine band, "Keep it comin' love."

  12. Congratulations! I'd like to nominate you for an award! Please mosey over to my blog to pick it up.

    Bye for now

    Patsy :o)

  13. I didn't read your comments - so someone else might have already mentioned this - the different colors absolutely mean that they might be different sizes. It might also mean that they were actually produced at totally different factories - or at least by different lines at the same factory. And the fabrics/materials could be very different.

    my body has shifted around endlessly on my way down the scale. I am not even peri men. yet - so while yours may indeed be men. related - there is a LOT of shifting around that comes from straight weight loss. It will be interesting to see how this keeps shifting for you as you go on down the scale.