Sunday, October 18, 2009

Working on calm

I'm going to be pretty brief today, as yesterday's post was so long, and after writing it I realized it took some emotional energy! That's a good thing, but time to lighten up a bit. It's the 4th day in a row here of heavy clouds, continual windy rain. This area has had 2 Nor'easters move through since Thursday, and the lack of light and ongoing dreariness are infiltrating my mood. I just saw on the weather report that the rain should be out of here around 6, hopefully in time for Game 3 of the National League playoffs between the Phillies and the Dodgers. GO PHILS!

Anyway, while the day is dreary, I'm going to use the morning to do some cooking for the week, laundry, and other homey stuff. This afternoon Hubby and I are going to an AA anniversary party where there will be tons of food, great fellowship and good sobriety. I'm bringing 2 things I ought not artichoke dip that is yummy, and a to-die-for fresh apple cake with caramel frosting. The cake and dip are already made and I've only the frosting left to do. So far, not a molecule of any of it has passed my lips. I expect I'll eat more than I otherwise would, but am planning the rest of my food for the day around it. I went to a housewarming party for a friend from work last night, and I had a piece of fried chicken (just a thigh) and some macaroni and cheese in very moderate amount. Neither of those would normally be on my food plan, but I don't want to totally eliminate food that in moderation is okay. There are some things where I know "I can't go there", but neither of those things set me off. They were great, too! I could have had another piece of chicken, but moved out of the food room fast. We left before the desserts came out...they would have set me off.

This morning I've started obsessing a little about my biopsy results that I should get tomorrow. One minute I feel dread, the next I feel okay and optimistic. Sounds about right on schedule. I'm using the Serenity Prayer to keep myself right-sized abut it: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." Hopefully I have the issue set aside for now since there's nuttin' more I can do or know about it today.

Have a good Sunday, Friends.


  1. My fingers are double crossed for you that your biopsy comes back great! I know it's hard not to..but try not to worry about it today. Worrying does no good and this is something NOT in your control. Hopefully they will call FIRST thing tomorrow morning with the good news that everything is good :)

  2. Wow! You like to punish yourself, don't you?!? Icing a yummy cake while you're trying not to binge?! ;o) I don't think I'd be able to do that without allowing myself a taster... Well done you if you can keep away from it! I LOVE artichokes as well... I allowed myself some marinated ones I bought from an Italian stall at a local market while I was on holiday recently (along with some scrummy olives!) Luckily, I was able to get back on track the day after we returned, so it's onwards and downwards...

    It's weigh-day tomorrow, so I'm hoping for some good results!

    Hope you have a lovely afternoon at your party. :o)

  3. Forgot to say, hope your biopsy results turn out as you want. Good luck! :o)

  4. You are in my prayers Miss Leslie.

  5. do you know the rest?

    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

    Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.
    Amen.--Reinhold Niebuhr

  6. Hi Leslie. Have a great party tonight. And well done for navigating the party last night. You party girl!

    We're all crossing fingers for you tomorrow.

    Best wishes,
    Bearfriend xx

  7. thanks for reminding me of that prayer. I really need it almost everyday. I am also praying with you on your test results. I know they will be good.
    You can eat before you go to the party to fill up and maybe won't eat so much at the party. That never works for me but I have heard it does work for some. And you should eat small portions of the stuff you like so you won't want it so bad and end up pigging out on it. I heard that too. Hope it works.You are doing do on your own. Good luck and congrats on your AA anniversary.

  8. I hope the AA anniversary party goes very well for you. I must say I’m mighty glad that I won’t have to be around your artichoke dip and to-die-for fresh apple cake with caramel frosting. LOL I’ll bet you could create fabulous diet-healthy versions of those recipes so you can bring something you can eat without concern next time you have to bring food somewhere.

    As for the fried chicken and mac & cheese--you’re a stronger woman than me, Leslie! Over the years I’ve learned that moderation simply doesn’t work for me. It’s much safer for me to stay away from possible trigger foods entirely.

    I truly hope your biopsy results come back just fine. Waiting is the pits.

  9. praying for positives regarding your biopsy. I swear, the worst thing is the waiting. My husband will be three years sober on July 4th 2010. Sobriety was the best thing that ever happened to our family.
    Enjoy the party.

  10. Found your blog thru your comments you left on mine. I've been in involved with 12 step reoovery (al-anon) for years. Tried OA but I did not find it helpful. Food issues are hard. Alcoholics can "put the plug in the jug" but compulsive overeaters have to "take the tiger out of the cage and take it for a walk 3 times a day"
    Email me if you'd like at dee3three at gmail dot com

  11. PS Thoughts and prayers concerning your biopsy. Haven't read enough of your blog to know details, but hope everything is fine

  12. I just have to say I am so impressed I cannot bake without testing EVERYTHIG - thus I don't bake. Bravo!!!