Lisa Gurney, from the excellent blog My Life as a Daughter at lgurney.blogspot.com, was kind enough to offer me a second Honest Scrap award. I'm so grateful, and though I got one some weeks back, this one is a different graphic, so I'm adding it to my side bar. It's my blog and I'll put up a second one if I want to! I'm not ready to pass it on, because I would pass it on to virtually everyone on my blogroll, and then some. So taking the idea from Amy H at No To The Deuce, I offer it to all of you. There are so many amazing and inspiring blogs out there, about different subjects than just weight loss, by the way, that I could read and comment all day long. In fact, my book reading (which I love) has dropped way off since I've hopped on this circuit. I believe this blog world is a fit for me! I might do another 10 things list, but not today. I'm feeling a little full of myself so need to amp down a few notches! I would insert a smiley face there if I knew how, but I don't. I see other bloggers insert the facey icons in their text...can anyone tell me the trick? My technoboobism is legendary. Ask my 20-something kids.Onto other matters...this week has been quite an emotional roller coaster for moi, as my posts have indicated. The bad Tuesday binge, the thyroid biopsy, and other forces in the universe that apparently targeted my personal peace combined to render me as torqued and twisted as I've been in a long time. I was aware of the events (binge and biopsy), but I don't think I recognized their emotional toll until this morning, when I woke up feeling clear headed and calm. Finally a day where I didn't have the plunging of a needle into my unanesthetized neck either a few days ahead, or in the case of yesterday, a few hours ahead. And while I won't know results until Monday, I'm relieved to have it over more than I could have anticipated. I'll probably get nervous each time my phone rings Monday, waiting for results. But in my heart of hearts I know I'll be okay regardless of the result.
Also contributing to my peaceful easy feeling this morning is the fact that I've had 2 consecutive binge-free days. Wednesday was easy in the afterhorror of the binge. But yesterday got tough late in the afternoon. I felt bingey and food thoughts started wafting into consciousness. I told myself, "just put it off for a while" again and again. Finally, after a sane breakfast-for-dinner, I prayed about it. "Please help me cuz I'm sinking here". And no lie...the food feelings were lifted. I wasn't gutting it out anymore...it became a non-issue. I brushed, flossed and went to an AA meeting to stay distracted; but the urges never returned before I went to bed. Which brings me to the genesis of today's post title...
NO WEIGH. For the last 4 weeks I've been weighing on Fridays only (alledgedly, heh heh) to break my scale addiction while tracking progress to my goal of 190lbs by November 2. So this morning was the day. You guessed it...I did not get on the scale. I woke up about 4:30 (my usual time) and my first thought was, "If I get on the scale, I know I'll end up bingeing today." Don't know why, but I just knew that weighing myself today would not serve me well AT ALL. If it was good, which it would be after 2 clean days, the number would start working me towards an evening of wanton eating, since "I'm doing fine". If bad, I'd be crabby and pissed off all day and be that much more vulnerable to any random food item lying within arm's length.
Given my prayer of last night, I believe this is some kind of divine inspiration that was inserted into my compulsive brain this morning. And maybe because I've felt emotionally beaten to a pulp by my own behaviors this week, I listened to the message. I don't want to weigh. I don't want to know. I just want another binge free day today. And not getting on the scale is a major tool in helping me accomplish that goal. Just for today. Tomorrow will have worries of its own, so I'm keeping my focus on this day only.
Good for you for recognizing the weigh-in as a target for bingeing!
ReplyDeleteAnother corner turned, another milestone reached!
You're a great inspiration!
Congrats on a scale-free day. And I am sorry to learn about the difficult week you've had. Geesh -- hope you have a great weekend!
ReplyDeleteYou go, girl! Do what you need to do, and we will always be right here rootin' for ya. Given your prayer, I'd like to share a passage with you that might encourage you:
ReplyDelete"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." ~ I Corinthians 10:12-13
So stand up under it, and we're also here to hold you up! :)
(BTW, I can't help you with the smiley faces. I like the look of the text smiley faces, so I've never pursued the pictoral emoticons. So, I don't know how to do it, either, or I'd tell you!)
Congrats on avoiding a binge!
ReplyDeleteYou have had a roller coaster of a week. I do hope this weekend brings you a peaceful feeling.
ReplyDeleteWell done you! I've posted about similar on my blog today and you're one of the people who really inspire me!
ReplyDeleteThank you. :o)
Hi Leslie. So glad your prayer worked. And brilliant to just leave the scale when it doesn't feel safe. You've cut out the weighing-bingeing cycle in one move.
ReplyDeleteHope the peaceful feeling stays with you for the longest possible time.
Congrats on surviving this week!
Best wishes,
Bearfriend xx
Good for you . One day at a time. And congrats on the award. Believe me you deserve it. Have a great weekend. I have been bad I have been eating cake .My son's girlfreind made me a cake .I am saving some for company coming so that has helped me not eat it all. But I want to.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for not doing something that you knew would end up derailing you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you have to break your own "rules." You must listen to yourself and do what's right for you. Someone else may have to weigh every week or they'll lose control. Some may be more flexible and be okay. You did what was right for you. And that is good for all of us to remember in our own lives.
ReplyDeleteHelen
Straight From Hel
Leslie--thanks for your nice comment at my blog (Writer Granny's World) Thought I'd return the favor and check in here. Wishing you the best in the journey you're taking. Sounds like you have some good support.
ReplyDeleteGood job, you got to know when to leave it alone and trust yourself (and God). I love reading things like this, because I know that that person is really trying to work at it. You are headed in the right direction. Thanks for the blog comments, I enjoy them
ReplyDeletegetting in a healthier mindset includes listening to your body - I'm all about not weighing in... if you don't have to - why do it - your clothes/ energy/ and all around zen factoe will tell you how you're doing...way to go!
ReplyDelete