Successful beginning

Regarding the goals I set yesterday, I had a pretty good day 1, as well as a wonderful success involving eating dinner out with a friend. Most of you know I've struggled with bingeing 2-3 times a week during September and early October. I've certainly been "good" much more than "bad", and my weightloss and exercise have stayed consistent, if slower than before during this time (due also to aching body parts limiting exercise). Among common binge triggers for me are weighing everyday, which I've totally stopped for the last 2 weeks. Also, having meals I don't prepare, i.e. going out to eat, has flipped the binge switch into the "on" position several times; to the degree that I stop on the way home from the restaurant to get more crap food to continue my food storm. Of course, the most common trigger for me is thinking I can have "a handful" or "a bite" of certain non-program foods that invariably set the binge mode into high gear. Totally laughable when I do that, because I know full well I'm just opening the flood gates...the decision is already made.

Last night, since hubby is away until Sunday or Monday, I went out for dinner with a friend to a nice place that has an excellent variety of items from which to choose. The last time I went there with this friend 3 months ago, I got a crab cake sandwich with a huge pile of fries (a top 10 favorite of mine!), and we split a dessert. Given my goals, my determination to stay on course and my fear of self-sabotage , I literally prayed on and off all day long to make a healthy selection, and for whatever I would eat at the restaurant to be enough. I ended up with a cup of Cream of Carrot soup that had no cream but was pureed vegetables with a small squiggle of creme fraiche on top, plus a Black Forest salad that was a mix of greens with black forest ham, gruyere and portabello mushroom with a garlic something or other dressing on the side. The amount of gruyere and ham was very moderate, and the whole thing was awesome! It came with a big beautiful roll that was white flour based, so I didn't touch it. One bite with a thick slab of cold butter would have had me off to the races. I ate every drop of delicious soup, every morsel of salad, and nothing else. Once home I had a container of 80 calorie Breyer's lite yogurt, and that was it for the night. Logged all food (per Goal # 2), brushed the teeth, and got horizontal for the night. Huge success for me, and I feel great about it. I really felt great when I got up this morning with NO REGRET. I said of prayer of thanks and asked for another sane day.

Also, I did go to the gym and did 36 minutes on the treadmill at an elevation of 4. My knee felt almost normal, but I didn't do weights due to time crunch. Probably today; if not, definitely tomorrow. I haven't weighed, though tomorrow will be my first day on the scale in probably 2 full weeks. I'm already nervous and feeling the need to emotionally prepare for what it reveals because good or bad news could send me on some kind of tailspin. I had tons of water, not great sleep, but as earlier noted I woke feeling refreshed and clean on the inside! I love that feeling.

Believe it or not, I'm going out for dinner again tonight with another friend who is also striving for sane food intake, We're going to a Thai place where I know I can get a tofu and vegetable stir fry with brown rice. Once again, I pray that it will be enough. Right now I feel strong about it, but I'm onto my own tricks about "I have this all together now". So send some positive vibes my way around 6:30 tonight. I'll be posting the big weigh-in tomorrow so stay tuned.